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Personal Assault Vehicle – 1967 Ford Bronco-ish Thing

This picture prompts the obvious question of… “Why?” Perhaps the second question is why do you embark on building something like this and then attempt to sell it? This barely recognizable 1967 Ford Bronco in Denham Springs, Louisiana appears virtually useless except as automotive art, and that’s a stretch. Counterpoints welcome below. Bidding here on eBay has stalled before achieving the humble opening bid of $500.

I’ve always wondered why Jeeps, the most recognizable vehicle on the planet, wear the word “Jeep” in 20 or 30 places. In this case, however, the word “BRONCO” assures us that a well-respected vehicle produced by Ford inspired this otherwise unidentifiable project truck.

The interior is a blank, uh, canvas of metal upon which the new owner can weave their personal decorative theme. I’m seeing a palette of pastels or paisleys and Hello Kitty or perhaps some bloody skulls. The listing describes this vehicle as having a “Custom hand made 1 piece all steel body,” which sound like they began with a truck-sized ingot of steel and painstakingly carved out the body from that single piece. That’s some craftsmanship, folks.

Whatever fills this hole will need the power to move the “removable extreme structural exoskeleton with storage rack on top.” The custom square tube frame rides on top of, wow, some automotive parts! The listing is about 20 words long including the description of “wide jeep axles front and rear, 4-link front and rear…” so we’ll assume that’s a big Dana but, much like the seller, I’m not keen enough to identify which one. All joking aside you have to admire the builder’s willingness to “go for it,” and pursue their vision, and it does look like someone has completed a good bit of (hopefully sound) engineering. The listing is mum on whether the end point might be a mud bog racer, an extreme rock crawler, or a far-out toy to impress the neighbors but, rest assured, there’s a buyer out there if the price is right. What price would make this extreme unfinished project Bronco irresistible to you?

Comments

  1. Avatar photo David Frank Member

    Great write-up Todd! But gee, speechless except perhaps to say I’m glad he’s not my neighbor!

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  2. Avatar photo Mike F.

    Good for an expedition to Isla Nublar for a dinosaur hunt. Yes, cheers to the builder for “going for it”.

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  3. Avatar photo Vegaman_Dan

    That is a lot of scrap tubing to be cut up for small projects. Or just scrap.

    At least paint it flat black or something.

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  4. Avatar photo Rob'sGT

    “Jungle gym” comes to mind.

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  5. Avatar photo Spridget

    Those wheels are comically small.

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  6. Avatar photo Steve R

    At least he has one bid. Last time through eBay he didn’t receive any.

    That thing is awful, it needs too much work finish to have more than a nominal value

    Steve R

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  7. Avatar photo CanuckCarGuy

    Looks like an apocalyptic parade float…

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  8. Avatar photo Leon

    A Cajun with too much time on his hands. Boudreaux’s gator huntin 4×4

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  9. Avatar photo 968shelbs

    Personal assault, indeed.

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  10. Avatar photo Allan

    Would probably get more bids if he removed all of the exoskeleton tubing and tried to sell it as a “rolling project” 67 Bronco. Prices on them have gone through the roof lately.

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  11. Avatar photo Mark S

    I’ve always wondered why guys put a metal skeleton around there trucks in hopes of saving the body from damage. The fact remains that the body is not spared and when you bend a gage like this into the body it is far more difficult to repair, add to that it is ugly. To me this is a waste of a bronco and a waiste of some steal tubing. I can see a bush guard bumper with winch but this is redicules.

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  12. Avatar photo Jim in AL

    The pinion angles are all wrong and it would eat universal joints like there is no tomorrow (if you were ever able to drive it)

    So much for the (hopefully sound) engineering.

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  13. Avatar photo TriPowerVette

    During the 1960’s, ’70’s and even into the ’80’s, for some reason, the directors of post-apocalyptic sci-fi would have their art departments cobble together some of the absolute friggin’ WORST metal nightmares as examples of end-of-days’ transportation.

    For the most part, it was painful for motorheads to look at that fiberglass-body-on-VW-chassis garbage. I am reminded of “Death Race 2000”, and to a certain extent “Mad Max”. But there were dozens more.

    Yesterday, I saw another one of those losers, “Land of Doom”, in which the director decided that the motorcycles didn’t look menacing enough, so he had metal structures welded all over them, but especially in the front, where the windshields would be. They were large and awkward. The actors had their work cut out for them just getting some balance, in the dirt.

    Notable exceptions were:
    THX1138: they used fast bikes and real Lolas. Loved it then, still do.
    Damnation Alley: Two of the coolest pieces of military imagination in any film, the “Landmasters”.

    Concerning the piece in this offering; well, it looks like an escapee from the back lot of at least one of the director-with-no-automotive-taste films.

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  14. Avatar photo Peter S.R. Member

    “Personal assault” on the aesthetic senses of mankind…

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  15. Avatar photo Moosefeather

    Broncos are so hot right now!

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  16. Avatar photo Chris Kennedy

    I am sorry.

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  17. Avatar photo Mark

    Next Madmax flick would like to see this vehicle doing damage

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    • Avatar photo TriPowerVette

      Sadly, Mark, the damage has already been done.

      R.I.P. Little Bronco.

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  18. Avatar photo newfieldscarnut

    Nonsensical metal madness .

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  19. Avatar photo Mike

    Things that make you go hmmm .

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  20. Avatar photo Mlaw

    Hours and hours of work to get to this result? Wow!!;

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  21. Avatar photo boxdin

    At first glance I thought it had been through a fire, kinda still looks that way.

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  22. Avatar photo White light 13

    What a mess , it must weigh as much as duce 1/2 , one waste of a bronco

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  23. Avatar photo Matt

    Anyone know where I can find one of those “functional cowl indication hoods” also every hot rod builder needs to take lessons from this guy on how to hide wiring 😂
    Also his kids are gonna be pissed when they see what dad did to there swing set

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    • Avatar photo whippeteer

      Even more so when they find out what he did with their college fund!

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  24. Avatar photo rbtempe

    I think the owner saw the movie Daktari too many times and was building a safari vehicle.

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  25. Avatar photo Old Nasty

    Looks like Bubba got a welder for his birthday.

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  26. Avatar photo Peter

    I don’t know. I like the idea. Maybe the presentation is a bit rough. But it corresponds with my current state of mind as I make the rumble through the urban jungle everyday. To all tailgaters and to all who cut me off each day….go ahead, hit me. I dare you. Hit me.

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  27. Avatar photo Harvey

    looks top heavy to me. Stop drop and roll, just getting out of the driveway.

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  28. Avatar photo Charles

    This is one of those projects that started of with hold my beer. It went down hill from there.

    Like 0

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