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The Best Halloween Plan: 1963 Plymouth Belvedere

Some people, believe it or not, may read Barn Finds and doubt my plans.  However, I believe I have the best plans!  Huge plans!  Great plans that the American people will love!  See, I think I have found the perfect car for the coming mayhem on October 31.  Back when I was a kid, moms would buy their kids some highly flammable plastic costume that had a mask you could neither seen nor breathe through, a plastic pumpkin to stash your candy in, and would drag kids around the neighborhood to collect cheap candy from the neighbors who didn’t want toilet paper adorning their trees the next morning.  Now, very few houses in my neighborhood participate in trick or treating.  The big thing around here is something called “trunk or treat.”  These events are put on by churches, community centers, and even a few businesses in the area, and some are on nights other than Halloween.  To participate, you have to have a set of wheels, and I have found the most ghoulish ride of them all.  Take a gander at this 1963 Plymouth Belvedere station wagon, which I found here on craigslist near Fort Payne, Alabama.  For a measly $3500, you and the neighborhood urchins can arrive at the local trunk or treats in style!

I will admit that this one is a bit rough, but that is all part of the plan.  Most of the parents there will be gliding up in the usual minivans and sport utilities, with a Prius or a Tesla thrown in to make sure you never escape the elitism that so nauseates us all.  Imagine their horror when they hear the 318 cubic inch, gas guzzling, piston clanking, smoke belching monster roar into the parking lot!  The pain wouldn’t stop there, because the whole mob of neighborhood kids would be itching to vomit forth from the many faded and rusty robin’s egg blue doors of this behemoth once the worn out drum brakes help it screech to a stop.  There would be extra points if you could make it backfire on cue like the car from the legendary movie “Uncle Buck.”

Once the urchins had sacked the place, much like the Visigoths did to Rome in 410 AD, it would be time to load up for another raid.  Obviously, you would have to clean it up a little after you bought it, so the kids wouldn’t have to fight the mice to keep their candy.  After all, this wagon has been sitting in the seller’s yard for over 30 years.  Ripping out the carpet, vacuuming and covering the seats, and cleaning the glass would go a long way toward making this one hospitable during a night of candy raiding.  If you really wanted to get fancy, you could use a big hypodermic needle to forcefully inject Febreze into the seat cushions.  Top that off with a few days with the windows open, 24-7, and you may be able to skip treatment for the hantavirus.

Between travelling to and from events, you may have to make some tough decisions.  Sometimes, a kid on a trip can be a big pain in the rear, no matter how fun the adventure is.  If you end up with one of these brats, just say that he won when he calls “Shotgun!”  Then, when he climbs up into the seat, snatch his candy up and threaten to pour it down the big whole in the passenger front floorboard pictured above if he doesn’t straighten up.  There is a matching hole under the drivers feet as well, so you’d best keep your feet on the pedals if you would like to finish the night with them still attached.

The picture above is a horror story of its own.  Motivating this mobile house of terrors is the standard Chrysler Corporation 318 cubic inch V-8.  Believe it or not, this one runs, but the gas tank is shot.  If you look in some of the other pictures, you see a bottle of gasoline fastened to the antenna on the passenger fender, with a plastic line snaking back to the carburetor.  You will probably want to make a more permanent fix for this problem, as it is no fun being stuck on the side of the road with a car full of kids jacked up on Snickers bars.  I’d also look at finding a cover for that air cleaner assembly and fixing the inoperable brakes.  Side swiping Priuses and Teslas to slow your progress is frowned upon behavior in most states.

All and all, I think this is a solid plan.  While the initial price of the car is a little steep, I’ll bet this guy would give you a break on the price if you shared the plan with him.  The kids would love it, because they would get a ton of candy out of the deal (minus, of course, your 20% drivers fee).  You would also be a hero, because you would be that neighborhood parent that lets their inner hooligan rage.  When the whole thing was over, you would still have a cool ride to bomb around in.  And if you think this plan is a stroke of pure genius, just wait until Christmas time!

Are you with us?

 

Comments

  1. stillrunners lawrence Member

    My 1965 3 seat Coronet wagon is a driver and at that price much better !

    This 63 has been listed before and at that price/condition will not be a seller still !

  2. Rustytech Member

    This is a $1500 car, and that’s being generous!

  3. Gear Head Engineer

    Jeff,

    Great plan. Horrible wheels!

    – John

  4. BobinBexley Bob in Bexley Member

    Rough yeah ! & great color as is ! Leave the iv bag as a mini gas tank.

  5. Dan Koch

    WHAT? THAT Car is a Genuine piecer! Look up HOOPDY in the dictionary & you’ll find a picture of this junker! It wudn’t pay $350 for that blanket blank Dudes nuts if he actually thinks it’s a $3,500 car OMG!

  6. Ron Bunting

    We never had those here in OZ, but i did have one of the 7 ’63 Fury hardtops imported for the use of the Hertz rental car company hierarchy. All of those shapes and curves are so much more attractive than the plymouth Valiant of the same era. A bigger engine from the mopar list is an easy drop in fit as are bigger brakes . Dont clean it!,BB it !

  7. B

    My brother owned that car model. The car spent more time in the driveway than the highway…

  8. Dovi65

    It’ll be a sweet ride if/when it’s done up. I’d bring it back to driver quality. $3500 is a bit optimistic on the seller’s part; $1500 is about it considering all it’s needs

  9. Tom

    That has to be one of the greatest write-ups in BF history – well done!

  10. Bill

    Eh,,, I like it, but yes, lose the wheels. ugh…

  11. TCOPPS Tyler Member

    Great Write-Up!

    I don’t know about Halloween, but I could see DA Yoopers going through the backroads in search of da Turdy Point Buck with it (for far less $$ I hope).

  12. MrBZ

    Still looking for our Queen Mary—- Mom’s 61 Plymouth 9 passenger wagon. 318, push button auto, no air, no power steering. Mom and Dad up front, 3 girls in the middle and 3 boys in back. Quite the cruise liner!

  13. kvnj

    I think that sounds like a fantastic plan! Perfectly creepy car for a ghoulish ride around the hood..

  14. mike D

    if you can’t find a Belvedere or a Fury 2 dr, this will do the trick! deep pockets, ME ?? no… but what to do if I did ! of course replace the floors , if the seats need to be replaced, replace them, bench front, and whatever fits in the remaining two these buggers could come with a 383 ( 361?) would paint it midnight blue, chrome wheels crate 360 duals thrush mufflers or flowmasters , lose the chrome strips darkest tint the law will allow .. and.. cruise !

    • Miguel

      I would probably paint it back to it’s original white, but I am a stickler for originality.

      • mike D

        somehow I missed being originally white, yes, would look good in white , and the mods I originally suggested !

  15. carsofchaos

    Any post with a reference to Uncle Buck gets props

    • Miguel

      Why would you think Uncle Buck with this car?

      A 1977 Mercury Marquis is nowhere near a 1963 Belvedere.

  16. Eric H

    You forgot to add a killer stereo so you can blast Rob Zombie as you creap through people’s neighborhoods.

  17. Dave Mikulec

    If you want one bad enough, you’ll pay for it. These ’63 wagons are hard to find in one piece. Many gave up key parts for Max Wedge clones. Others became high dollar Max Wedge wagons. I wanted one because it was my first car back in HS.

    Dave @ http://www.rusty–nuts.com/

    .

  18. bog

    Guesses on what’s hanging from rear view mirror ? Disintegrating air freshener or a likewise dying Spirit Catcher ? Creepy either way.

  19. Goran Lundberg

    Beautifully written story! True “writers joy”!

  20. Shaun C

    People are making comments on the price, but don’t have a clue. This car was on ebay with more than 10 bidders who bid up to $2100 . These are Not an easy car to find.

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