I recently heard the term “meatball sundae” to describe two things that are great on their own, but unappetizing when mixed together. I think today’s car qualifies. Find this unholy mashup here on craigslist in Portland, Oregon. “Benzillac” sounds like medicine that would induce illness… Either way, you cannot unsee this car. Now, plenty of 1960 Caddys suffered a worse fate in the crusher, or got turned into man-cave furniture. And there’s nothing wrong with a nice 320SL convertible, except you don’t stand out in a crowd. Well, problem solved! Someone had a dream, and here it is. Kind of a mullet Batmobile: business up front, wings in the back. One thing is for sure, with 220K miles on it, the owner is not shy about driving their creation. At least they could have painted it classic Caddy pink. This yogurt-yellow-over-champagne palette is subdued, and there’s no need to be subtle when you’re screaming “LOOK AT ME”!
To be fair, the build quality does look excellent, and expensive. And this badge that was ordered on eBay, or pried off some grandma’s Buick, has never been more accurate. At least they don’t claim it’s “one of none”. I could feel more empathy for this project if it turned up for sale later in the summer. Because that means it was someone’s way of spending quarantine so they didn’t go mad. If you can’t leave the house, and all you have is a welder and these two cars, put the whiskey down and have at it. But this thing was professionally built some time ago, with intention.
Now you may say I’m being hard on someone’s labor of love, and I am. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I suspect that while the car is certainly… definitely… unfortunately real, the ad feels scammy to me. I’ve heard that since craigslist started charging $5.00 to post cars, the scam ads have disappeared, but the copy provides little more detail than “Most custom & fun car for the $’s. Best buy of today’s down cycle!” It’s devoid of any practical, useful, or entertaining information a buyer might want. Some of you are asking why? I am wondering who commissioned this project. A retired dry cleaner in a lavender mood? The multi-level marketing champion of Multnomah county? The Count from Sesame Street?
What do you think: thumbs up or thumbs down. Would you rock this Benzillac… and would you wear a cape while doing it?
Rex Kahrs says
Apr 6, 2020 at 12:50pmThe perfect car for a real estate agent named Phyllis.
CCFisher says
Apr 6, 2020 at 8:56pmPhyllis is in her 50s, has big, blonde hair, wears lots of jewelry, bathes in perfume, and likes flashy clothes. The portraits on her business cards, billboards, and bus stop benches are worthy of Glamour Shots. This car represents Phyllis at her prime, when just a wink of her false eyelashes could net her a sale. These days, she’s traded the false eyelashes for bi-focals, and has to work to make a sale. So, it’s time for Phyllis to get something less flashy, to better suit Phyllis’ less flashy life. She hopes the new owner will treasure the Benzillac as she has.
You can thank the quarantine for that…. I’ve got nothing better to do!
BOP_GUY says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:49amYou forgot three inch long fingernails! 🤣
Chuck C. says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:56amPoor,poor, Phyllis………!!!!!
Roy Blankenship says
Apr 7, 2020 at 4:36pm…and the “enhanced cleavage”….
JW says
Apr 8, 2020 at 12:33pmSounds like the woman that sold me my house. Her business card head shots were probably 20 years old
alphasud says
Apr 6, 2020 at 2:38pmTake it to the car pound and have it euthanized!
Marc Naktin says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:03pmIts absolutely horrible but so well executed.
Jcs says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:15pm.
Are you sure this wasn’t meant to be listed this past Wednesday?
This is the definition of fugly.
A hoodscoop to boot!
Yep, “limited edition” alright. By design.
.
Skorzeny says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:19pmYou know, I loved that DeSoto, but this is an abomination. Like alphasud said, euthanize it!
Vegaman Dan says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:24pmThis looks like it should be painted black and driven by Alfred on his way to pick up Batman.
J_Paul says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:40pmWell, if the fish are already in the barrel, it’s our role to shoot as many of them as possible…right?
One detail on this monstrosity that will haunt me for a while: It not only has the Caddy fins and a Continental Kit, but a trunk spoiler as well. Yikes.
Eamon Bishop says
Apr 7, 2020 at 3:45pmJ_Paul,
You have a sharp eye for detail. The ad doesn’t mention specs on the drivetrain or give a 0-60mph time for this vehicle, but it has been my experience that a car- any car – with a spoiler is f-a-s-t with a capital “Q”.
Signed,
EJ
1996 Ford Taurus “GL” with FACTORY spoiler*
* Manufactured up at Ford’s Canada plant**, only a handful of ‘96 Taurus sedans were offered with the “GL” package. Purpose-built for participation in the Great Lakes Ice Racing Circuit, the GL was equipped with the aforementioned spoiler to keep the rear end nailed tight to the slick track surfaces when the V6 power kicked in. Also included was a factory installed 120v block heater, 4 studded tires on aluminum “mag” wheels, and an air conditioner with a “MAX” setting which the seller pointed out could be used in both the “Cold” AND “Hot” setting (necessary to keep driver’s warm in the frigid border winds).
The first owner of this particular car only raced for a season or two before changing to standard tires and placing the studded tires (carefully packaged in plastic bags bearing the name of the shop which did the conversion) in the trunk. With a provenance like that, provided to me by the Taurus’ third owner, I would have been a fool to not pay $10K over Blue Book for a “standard” model of the same age.
** The GL was the only model of Taurus produced at this plant which was available in seven different colors. Anything else rolling off the line could only be had in “Canada Beige”.
JW says
Apr 8, 2020 at 12:35pmI’m guessing the weight distribution is way off from the manufacturer specs now.
Miguel says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:42pmWhat a waste of a nice 1960 Cadillac bumper and lights.
DETROIT LAND YACHT says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:44pmI weep.
Cncbny says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:46pmNow if he used the back of a ‘58!golden hawk, that would be tasteful. Kinda like one of them hairless cats. Yeah its a cat, but I’m not goin near it!
reality bites says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:53pmI don’t see anyone having put 220k miles on this car, in this iteration. What I DO see, though, is someone who took a number of POS-mobiles with 219k miles on an odometer and glued their eyelids shut.
That AMC Guy says
Apr 6, 2020 at 4:57pmUgh. The stuff of nightmares. I truly wish I could unsee this thing.
DrewP says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:00pmThe wing did it in for me.
Kieron Glover says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:11pmHi all . I have a 1991 500 SL and take it show and present it on our Mercedes Benz Club stand. Because there are so many nice cars on one stand my car is just glanced at. Even though it is hideous it would get lot more attention !!
Miguel says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:17pmIt would not get the type of attention you want.
Miguel says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:12pmThe most hideous thing is asking $7500.00 for a 1994 Mercedes with 220,000 miles on it.
Dual Jetfire says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:18pmMercedes should copy it for next year’s model before Cadillac does with a giant V8. Finally a modern car with some style!
sir mike says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:29pmThank God it’s the only one….
Ken says
Apr 6, 2020 at 5:36pmWhy. I realize this obviously could be done, but the putz who did this didn’t bother to ask. Should I.
Even Virgil Exner holds his head in shame.
jerry z says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:21pmYea but Harley Earl must be rolling in his grave!
Chris in Pineville says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:09pmloose that stupid spoiler.
will make it a little less ugly…….
Jeffro says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:12pmI don’t know if I’d wear a cape while driving it…but I’d surely would wear a bag over my head why driving it
hatofpork says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:39pmHelping mightily to “keep Portland weird”. Maybe this mashup works there?
Boatman says
Apr 6, 2020 at 9:47pmHatofpork, I’d love to hear the story behind your handle!
19sixty5 says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:41pmDitch the rear deck spoiler, the roll bar and the continental kit, and it almost… almost looks uh, “somewhat” acceptable? Appears to be nicely executed though.
Ken says
Apr 6, 2020 at 7:37pmRather, lose everything behind the front doors.
Doc says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:42pmA listing posted for commentary. Well done.
What a effin horror show
Mark says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:48pmI’ve said it before and it applies here as well….
Sometimes what happens in the barn should stay in the barn.
Stangalang says
Apr 6, 2020 at 6:56pmThe name sounds like something for stomach problems..💩🤣 it actually looks well built and your probably never gonna see another one..that’s..maybe..a..good..thing..I think
Nevadahalfrack says
Apr 6, 2020 at 7:35pmDemonstrates the difference between knowledge and wisdom:
Knowledge is understanding that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to use it in a fruit salad. Ergo, Knowledge is understanding how to blend a Cadillac into a Mercedes; wisdom is knowing not ever to do it.
norm bissonnette says
Apr 6, 2020 at 8:06pmSatan is making Harley Earl pay for the ’58 Buicks and Oldsmobiles for eternity ……….
CCFisher says
Apr 6, 2020 at 9:02pmThe irony of taking a smooth, sophisticated, snobbish Mercedes SL and grafting on one of the most outrageous and uniquely American rear ends is delicious!
AZVanMan says
Apr 6, 2020 at 9:06pmAs a former fabricator, sometimes the craft takes an unexpected and uncontrollable turn for the worse. In the early 80s, we had a brand new 1979 1/2 ton Econoline LWB cargo van that had virtually every original body line modified. Single powered gull-wing door, a row of matching sunroofs, massive sculpted-in rear roof spoiler and a front end that was nearly unrecognizable. With every ounce of respect we could muster, we called her Mondo-Bondo. As luck and fate would have it, she never saw the paint shop, much less SEMA and was later sold as a grossly under-powered 7500 lb brick with less than 200 miles on the clock. Sometimes, its best to quit while you’re still not to far behind.
Husky says
Apr 6, 2020 at 11:49pmMoney and good taste doesn’t always follow each other…
Pat says
Apr 7, 2020 at 5:32amOne and only? Thank god!
Barry Traylor says
Apr 7, 2020 at 6:15amGood Grief!
Ward William says
Apr 7, 2020 at 8:25amDrive directly to the crusher. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Then proceed to the nearest DMV and hand in your driver’s license.
Go directly home and never show your face in public again.
r s says
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:32am“Look at me! I have way more money than good taste!”
BobPDX says
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:41amI’ve seen this car in person in Portland over the years. I was built by a talented fabricator who’s now longer with us. His son is selling some of his cars, I bought a 59 Cadillac Coupe DeVille from him last year, pretty close to stock except for the paint scheme.
His shop was named “Sloan’s” and he also owned an adjoining building that his family operated as a bar and grill. On its facade was the front of a flat nose Freightliner truck, complete with working lights. Freightliner would often send him truck cabs that needed custom work, he had an excellent reputation.
I’m sure that he did this benzillac just for fun, and maybe its polarizing looks were part of the equation for him. RIP
WR Hall says
Apr 7, 2020 at 2:09pmI am here in Portlandia and know Sloans well. I wasn’t aware they ever built anything like the Cadzilla. I get around and have never come across this piece.
BobPDX says
Apr 7, 2020 at 2:22pmIn the summer months it would sometimes be parked outside the body shop section of the building. Mr. Sloan also had a 70’s Lincoln MKII that he built into a pickup, I remember seeing that one too.
BobPDX says
Apr 7, 2020 at 2:26pmLincoln MKV, that is….
mainlymuscle says
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:45amJohnny cash is suing from the other side,for misappropriation of his song .
Bruce says
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:46amThis car represents what I have considered to be true for some time that some people have all their taste behind their teeth. This thing makes the Pontiac Aztec look good and that is faint praise indeed. I wonder what the other misguided children in the asylum have made with their time.
There are somethings you wish you could un-see. Like the short 400 Pound woman at the nude beach. I wonder a lobotomy could help. Hmmmmmmm.
Lance Nord says
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:52amDo I buy a classic Pacer or the Benzillac? Hmmm…. tough choice but I think I’ll choose the Pacer.
Comet says
Apr 7, 2020 at 10:01amSuch a tastefully executed and classy car, and then they have to go and ruin it with those gaudy gold line tires!
Jim says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:07amI was going to buy it until I saw that tear in the upholstery. Never mind.
JagManBill says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:10ambest photo is the last one…under the cover so you can’t see it….
lbpa18 says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:12amTwo possibilities for the future for this. Either donate it for a charity auction where the bidders bid to leave it to someone else who doesnt want it but would have to keep it for the year, or better, use it as another post in the Cadillac Ranch fence.
connbackroads says
Apr 7, 2020 at 2:48pmThat is one of the funniest things that I have ever read !!!
Thank you 🤣
Johnmloghry says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:13amWho knows why this was done, but a dream a vision and talent went into it. Perhaps it was the result of someone’s dislike for both Mercedes and finned Cadillac’s. It’s a done project and we’ve all installed it in our memory cells. Someone will like this and be proud to own it. Above is my 64 Riviera, this is truly a car of beauty and I sure wouldn’t want find on it.
God bless America
Nevadahalfrack says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:17amThat’s a beauty, Johnmloghry.
Johnmloghry says
Apr 7, 2020 at 2:38pmThank you sir, but the engine compartment does need a deep clean.
Joe Haska says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:27amI am actually at a loss for words!
Maestro1 says
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:43amWell, welcome to the bizarre. I agree with the person who said lose the continental kit, the wing, and the overhead bar, paint the car a dark color, leave the interior color alone because it’s neutral and will work with practically any exterior color, get rid of the wheels and try another design, blackwalls, what we’re doing here is calming the extreme about the car and see what it looks like after spending a ridiculous amount of money on it.
Then slowly open a bottle of booze………….
Roy Blankenship says
Apr 7, 2020 at 4:44pmAgreed. Can someone photoshop this car into black where the yellow is and put some stock Benz wheels on it? That might be an interesting look…
DonC says
Apr 7, 2020 at 1:00pm“Hey Honey! I’m bored…..I’m taking Uncle Joey’s ’60 Caddy and sticking it on the back end of your ’94 320 SL, okay? No….just the back-end. Oh and I’m gonna steal the handbasket off a Porsche Targa and put that in like it’s a rollbar.”
“Honey?……….Honey?……What’s with those suitcases? Where ya goin?”
Dickie F. says
Apr 7, 2020 at 1:13pmAnd this is why the 4 lb hammer was invented along with naughty kids ……
pixelpusher says
Apr 7, 2020 at 1:47pmMy bet this started life as a Mercedes hit hard in the back, or a Caddie hit hard in the front…
Tiberius1701 says
Apr 7, 2020 at 2:08pmKill it with fire or nuke it from orbit…take your pick.
Philip says
Apr 7, 2020 at 3:35pmRemember that commercial “this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs”?
Apply the photo of this car in the second part of that sentence.
Michael Barcus says
Apr 7, 2020 at 3:43pmYikes! Well…like they say in the car biz, there’s an ass for every seat. Somewhere in this world there’s an ass for this one too.
Bob McK says
Apr 7, 2020 at 3:46pmI have never seen so many comments on a car. Unfortunately most seem to be negative. Being a Cadillac lover, it hurts me to see Beautiful Cadillac fins on MB.
Claudio says
Apr 7, 2020 at 4:59pmReminds me of the Homer designed monkey mobile
WarCad says
Apr 7, 2020 at 10:40pmRight On!!
Homer Simpson designed it First…
Gavin Campbell says
Apr 7, 2020 at 5:22pmOH NO – something you can’t un-see – and I looked at the pictures
Beignet at the Beach says
Apr 7, 2020 at 5:28pmJust because you CAN do a thing, does NOT mean you SHOULD do a thing..
angel santiago saltamontes says
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:17pmI had a dream, but—i’m sorry; i completely forgot it. What? I—
Dave Mazz says
Apr 7, 2020 at 10:27pmOn the other hand….. .If you rate Barn Find cars by the number of comments they generate, this Benzillac should easily make the top ten list. And it must have *some* fans out there, like Liberace impersonators maybe. :-) :-)
Clay Bryant says
Apr 7, 2020 at 10:41pmEveryone is missing the point on the spoiler. When you hit 160 mph it keeps the back end down . The continental kit pops up like an air dam at speed and helps you control it after the run. I saw the movie…………..
Little_Cars says
Apr 8, 2020 at 10:45amPimps, pool your resources and buy this car!!! I can’t tell if it is an optical illusion, but the right rear Caddy fender seems to be canted more than the driver’s side in the photo taken directly from the back. Also, the most hideous angle…
V8roller says
Apr 9, 2020 at 4:01pmThis thread is a perfect example of the fact that most Americans don’t understand a joke unless someone tells them it was a joke.
And in this case, a jolly well executed one.
The Old Man says
Apr 17, 2020 at 7:27amIf I can still count correctly there were 80 comments–show me a Mustang or Corvette that will generate 80 comments. I buy cars that no one else has or will ever will have–I only buy them because they drive people nuts–80 comments is proof this is a perfect car to drive people over the edge. The Benzillac will be displayed next to my Tucker. A Tucker is another car very few people own.
Ken says
Apr 18, 2020 at 3:24amYou are a load of hooey. Let’s see pictures of yourself next to your Tucker.
Comet says
Apr 17, 2020 at 8:47amIf it’s comments your’e after, you could always paint it pink with tiger stripes. There’s only one of these rolling aberrations on earth, and I think I know why. Folks will compliment your Tucker. Folks will “comment” on this thing. Either way you’ll get the attention you crave.
Ward William says
Apr 17, 2020 at 9:21amI’d call BS. Nobody with the good taste to own an original Tucker would even dream of having this atrocity in the same garage.
Ken says
Apr 18, 2020 at 3:26amHe owns a Tucker!!! Bwa ha ha ha ha bbwwaaaa ha ha ha. Dam that’s good one!! Bwwwaahhaaa. Lol
mark evans says
Apr 17, 2020 at 8:24pmI can see it now! na na na na naaaaa CRACKMAN!
The Old Man says
Apr 28, 2020 at 8:50amThe transport company is scheduled to pick up the Benzillac by the end of the week and it will be on its way East to meet Preston our Tucker. I will gladly enclose a picture of the two together upon the new toys arrival.
Comet says
Apr 28, 2020 at 1:34pmNo need to send pics