Since I was five or six years old, I’ve been a diehard fan of Seinfeld. There’s a particular episode from Season 4, titled “The Handicap Spot,” where the gang traveled to a mall in Lynnbrook to pick up an engagement gift for their friend, “The Drake” (played by Rick Overton). George, who is driving his dad’s car (a 1978-1980 Mercury Monarch 4 door sedan), is persuaded by Kramer to park in a handicap spot due to the lack of parking spaces available. When they return to the car after purchasing a television as a gift, the four of them (Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer) find a handicap woman that had crashed her wheelchair due to the car occupying the handicap spot and an angry mob plotting to destroy the car. After slinking away to form a diversion, the four return to the car to find it destroyed. To add insult to injury, Frank Costanza (George’s father, played by Jerry Stiller) is arrested later in the show for parking in a handicap spot. This 1980 Mercury Monarch is a coupe, but is almost the same color and specifications as Mr. Costanza’s car. Find it here on craigslist in Roxborough, PA, with an asking price of $1,500.
Introduced in 1975, the Mercury Monarch was supposed to replace the compact Comet, but ended up being sold alongside the Comet and its replacement, the Zephyr. Essentially a re-badged Granada (save for some exterior and interior changes), the Monarch was built from 1975 to 1980, with 575,567 produced in its fire year production. The exterior was inspired by Mercedes-Benz’s 280 and looked upscale and similar to the full-size Marquis and Grand Marquis. This car is a final-year 1980 model, and is mostly original; sky blue with a black vinyl top looks pretty cool, and the body appears to be in good condition, with the exception of what appears to be a bit of rust behind the driver’s-side rear-wheel well; there is also a dent in the middle of the back bumper. I would inspect the rust and address as necessary, and I would look into whether or not the dent in the bumper car be straightened out.
Reading 50,000 original miles on the odometer, this Monarch is powered by an inline-six and automatic (probably a C4), but the seller makes no indication of its displacement, so it’s either a 200 cid or a 250 cid six (I’m leaning more towards the 200 cid). If it is a 200 six, then it would be a Big Bell 200, so named due to its low-mounted starter location down by the oil pan rail; this engine is sought after by collectors due to it being uncommon and the fact that its bell housing can be swapped for a Ford small-block V8 six-bolt bell housing. Rated at 96 horsepower and 151 lb-ft of torque, the 200 six won’t win you any drag races, but there are plenty of performance parts to build up the engine, including an article on how to build up a 200 six (my dad had a 1970 Maverick with the 200 six, and he said it had a lot of pep and performance potential). I would keep the six naturally aspirated and build it up to catch a few Fox-body 5.0 Mustangs by surprise.
Inside, the interior looks a bit faded and could use a nice detailing, but overall, there appears to be no tears in the seats and no cracks in the dash. I definitely dig the split-bench front seat, and the simulated wood-grain complements the gauge cluster. I would ditch the black carpet mats and source blue carpet or rubber mats and detail the interior, as it looks pretty dirty. I do like the manual windows; I don’t see if there’s air conditioning, however; if there isn’t, I would look into aftermarket air conditioning that looks period correct. Overall, this car looks pretty cool and, once taken care of cosmetically, would be a cool car to cruise or build up. What would you do with this Monarch?
How refreshing. A seller who doesn’t necessarily think that a 37 year old car will put his child through college. But, yawn…
Good writeup, Mitchell! My Sister-in-law had a ’78? Monarch two-door, green on green, with the I6. She complained of lack of passing power and I realized her transmission kick-down was not working due to it missing a part. I threaded a random bolt into the linkage and adjusted it for WOT. A day or two later she came up to me all excited saying “I passed someone on Conewango Avenue!! (local 2-lane) Thank you!” I think the pinnacle of this body style had a 351W and four wheel disc brakes. It would be interesting to see one of those with a 408 stroker, drag radials, and stock hubcaps, and maybe a Kleenex box on the package tray.
Nice car. I’d be interested if it were closer to home. Live in Stockton, CA.
If you’re within a reasonable distance to this car I think you’d have a fair deal. This looks like an honest car and an honest seller.
my favorite episode!
Car does have A/C. Note the twin air vents in the centre of the dash. Non-A/C cars lacked these.
Car is also sporting a mono AM/FM radio. Can’t tell from the views of the package shelf if there are rear speakers. The fader control would be underdash next to the ash tray, but you can’t see if due to the steering wheel blocking the view.
Wire wheel covers aren’t OEM and would be the first thing to go. I’d get some Keystone-type wheels from a Monarch S.
With an automatic and A/C, the Six is likely a 250.
First thing to go would be the Six, simply because I have a built 302 on the stand, in the garage, just begging for a transplant recipient. Second would be to mount up a set of bigs-n-littles Magnum 500’s with a “one size up” tire replacement fore and aft. I like a thicker sidewall that squats a ‘lil in a sleeper. More grip plant. Not enough to tear up the differential mind you…but just enough :)
good station car
The only thing these were good for were as parts donors for early mustang disc brake conversions. And now you can do a better aftermarket bolt on conversion for the same or less. Another car for the person who never reached past mediocrity.
These things didn’t “run and drive great” even when they were new. How could 37 years have improved the situation?
I’d agree that many of the 302-equipped Granadas and Monarchs weren’t exactly built like a Swiss watch. The carburation on these was awful, and a lot of these 302s died before 100k miles. The inline-6 versions were less trouble-prone and tended to run far longer.
They are what they are: a compact offering most of the smoothness, quietness, and comfort of a 1970s full-sized car. Unfortunately, big-car swishy handling was part of the bargain. Being direct descendants of the Falcon/Maverick/Mustang, surely there’s solutions out there to bring the handling up to respectable.
I can’t get pass you saying fan of Steinfield since 5 or 6 years old. Thanks a lot for making me feel old.👨🏼
Laughed my coffee through my nose at this! I must have assumed your age closer to my 45 year tenure with your taste in autos. You’ve got a good eye my friend and don’t loose sight of your sense of humor.
The Granada!!! Oh my God. Brings me memories of plastic clad seats in my grandfathers car! What an awful looking machine. I couldn’t think of a more fitting end to the car in Sinefeld.
The Zephyr had some notoriety in NASCAR I think, I do remember seeing a few at the dirt oval in the eighties. Ah remember the 80’s lol.
my Mom had one of these in four door 302 auto , smooth car and suited her fine , don’t remember it being much trouble ,but she did trade it for a Ponitac grand am !
A ho hum example of a dead boring car. Why is it featured here? It isn’t the slightest bit interesting. Next posting, my 98 Camry commuter?
You don’t have to be a car enthusiast long to realize that the ugliest duckling can become an awesome ride. Check out this Monarch…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcY1p7gRee0 Put Ken Block behind the wheel and most muscle-car owners couldn’t touch that Monarch in a road race. It’s all relative, and these features stimulate discussion of what might be possible. I guess that’s not fun for everyone, but it is for me. Why not build a Pro-Touring Monarch? To many car nuts that’s more interesting that another awesome ’69 Camaro. Park a full-on Pro-Touring Monarch next to an Eleanor Mustang at a car show and see which draws the bigger crowd.
These were cool cars in the early 80’s. Helped a good friend fix a oil pan leak in his 302 granada. Super clean car! Ran like a top and had comfort for days! Hey, it’s what we had back then and it worked well!!
My brand, my color, econo six ….I’d drive it
That episode of Seinfeld was on last night on tbs lol
the dads was a 4dr tho
Looking at the underwood pictures, it looks like it could have A/M A/C, but with the size hoses and routing it doesn’t look like factory, and compressors must be located low, it’s not visible in the picture. Back when I was first married the old man we rented from had a green one with a 302. I used to sit in my apartment and laugh when he started it every morning, he would hold the key in the start position for about 10 to 20 seconds after the car started, then hold the pedal to the floor for several more. The dealer replaced 2 starters before the car was out of warranty. I would go out and show him what he was doing wrong several time a week, but next morning l’d hear that horrific noise again. I was just glad I wasn’t his service advisor!
My Grandad bought one in 75, a 2 door and I thought it was great. Of course he traded in his 73 Pinto on it, so a major upgrade was accomplished. I think my Uncle drove that car a long time after G’pa passed in 77. I’d drive it proudly and tinker with the specifics as I went!