Extra Crispy: 1980 Stutz IV-Porte

Yep, it’s a real Stutz, and even though it is deep fried, this one wasn’t built for Elvis! These coach built cars, not built for the likes of us mere mortals, are proof money doesn’t necessarily buy taste. Find this rough roller, a one of fifty 1980 Stutz IV-Porte, here on eBay in Los Angeles, CA for $9500.

 

I first have to confess, I love Stutz’s. No, not the real Bearcats and Depression era rarities, but these overdone, baroque, rolling chandeliers. Blame or praise Virgil Exner for those freestanding headlights, sweeping fenders, exposed chrome exhausts, and that padded trunk mounted spare. Hand crafted in Italy on various GM full frame platforms, these bloat mobiles were owned by celebrities who were also caricatures of themselves during this time. In the 70s, Lucy, Liberace, the King, most of the rat pack, Wayne Newton, all owned a Stutz and were trying to cling to an earlier image, much like these neoclassic mastodons. By the time this 1980 four door huffed into existence for the then president of Stutz, the fad of owning these four wheeled gold chains was fading. But I can’t help but lust after a car that was so of it’s time. Think DeLorean, Yugo, Metropolitan, Model T, Pinto, but with lots more chutzpah!

Why this particular IV-Porte felt the need to attract even more attention to itself with a fire, is beyond me. The damage made its way from the nose to the back seat. Real gold plating, wood, thick leather, wool carpets, all roasted and unsalvageable. The fire probably came from an electric fan short that was tucked up under that gigantic shroud. The Pontiac 350 is said to still turn over by hand, so that’s something. A Park Avenue or Bonneville dashboard and door panel swap might be an easier repair than sourcing replacement parts. I guess stained particle board Would be okay this point?

Since this isn’t a more desirable Blackhawk two-door, going the rat rod or pro-touring route, as opposed to a restoration, would be a lot more fun and possibly less expensive. The car still retains a lot of its unique trim and the trunk still looks perfect. All the outrageous styling cues that made these famous are still there. Slipping a ‘94-96 Impala SS underneath this beast would awaken some of those historic Stutz Indy 500 memories. Can you imagine the looks this once $84K car would get tearing up an autocross? If only I had that Liberace money and taste to attempt such madness.

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Comments

  1. RayT Member

    So I guess Corey is saying “This will NOT rub out….”

  2. DrewP

    Only $9500?!?!
    I’m surprised it’s not sold yet……….yeah right.

    I’ll hang up now and wait for my answer and all the retorts of “Yes, worth it!”

    • OA5599

      They’ll make more money here, if they charge $5 a swing with a sledgehammer.

  3. steve

    I have always found these as attractive as a pregnant prom date. That said I love the 4 doors, and if it were sent to a real artist like Kindig it might turn out to be a very cool ride. Ditch the spare on the trunk lid, and most of the trim. Modern power and interior. It might be cool??????????

  4. steve

    BTW look at all the Porsches in the background. :)

    • Alec

      Also just just noticed the Porsches – wow!

  5. jw454

    Wasn’t this crispy critter posted not long ago? I may have seen it else where but, I thought it was here.

  6. lawyer George

    Brain says no!

  7. Rodney

    This has, “Let’s collect the insurance money” all over it’s scarred little face.

  8. Mike

    Side pipes look awful, an afterthought and/or laughable.

  9. JW

    All I can see is a pimp driving it with his bodyguard riding shotgun and his money makers in the back seat.

  10. Nrg8

    Jeez I wonder if the horn is like the General Lee and has a custom tune or something. Maybe like O-A-badda-bing!

  11. Dick Johnson

    Maybe 36 inch gold plated 150 spoke wheels would help things a bit.

  12. Nova Scotian

    Trash. Worth the weight of recycled metal. That’s all.

    • Nrg8

      Pontiac block could be built up though. Rest is trash

  13. Michael Jacobs

    Ghastly..Michael Keaton drove one in Night Shift..funny movie

  14. Joe Nose

    Can’t fix stupid but you sure can ask for stupid money. Weren’t these things basically built around Seville center sections?

  15. Chuck Sibio

    OMG What a Pig ! Personally I see no attraction at all to these ugly…..just plain ugly cars.

  16. Pa Tina

    American money?

  17. Dan

    Who knew cocaine burned like that?

    Like 1
  18. crazyhawk

    If I saw one of these on the road, I wouldn’t look at the car, I would have to look at the driver and think “when did it all go wrong for you”.

    • angliagt angliagt Member

      And,if you did,nobody saw you looking at it.

  19. jaymes

    no love ( too many doors tho

  20. Dovi65

    I noticed the Seville connection right away. Interesting car for sure. I’m very doubtful that there’s a buyer out there willing to fork over $9500 for this oddity. Based on it’s needs, $2500 would be about right.

    • Ronald White

      @Dovi65 looks like a Pontiac Bonneville to me

  21. Madmatt

    This reminds me of a hot wheels Stutz 2dr I had when I was a kid,
    These were the product of crazy 70’s drug induced fashion disco!
    A pimp ride for sure, all that it needs is a wealthy pimp now,
    to restore it to its former ugly self.Very interesting,and kinda cool, but
    Way overpriced for 1/3 of a vehicle,the rest is scrap.
    This is another example to the younger generations,
    Don’t do drugs,and design pimp mobiles! LOL.

  22. Brian R

    Whoa! these were an abomination on the automotive world. the Homer (from the Simpsons) may be the only thing uglier. I wouldn’t give you $9.50 let alone $9500. Your money is better spent literally ANYWHERE else.

    • HARD BALL

      I remember the “Homer”! As I remember it bankrupted the company…Sort of like this car did!

  23. Miguel

    Aside from all the obvious work it needs, these other things are scary as well.

    Vehicle Title: Salvage

    Last registered in 1984

    Any California buyer must pay local CA sales tax and licensing fees.

    Tell me if I am wrong, but I don’t think that car will pass smog at this point.

    • DweezilAZ

      Probably just a sensor or something, Miguel.

  24. packrat

    This creation of Exner’s winter months reads like the last of the Robert Heinlein novels–an old roué who tarried too long in his sensual self-indulgences, well fitting the excesses of the last half of the twentieth century. I appreciate the products of the talent of later years, but only as the shallower end of their creative body of work as a whole.

  25. Troy Member

    That’s not a Pontiac engine. It has a oil fill tube at the front of the engine, not a cap on the valve cover. Look like an Olds engine.

    • Pa Tina

      That kills the deal for me!

  26. packrat

    This creation of Exner’s winter months reads like the last of the Robert Heinlein novels: an old roué who tarried too long in his sensual self-indulgences, a glaze of fatuity to their final works concomitant to the excesses of the last half of the twentieth century.

    I appreciate the products of the talent of later years, but only as the shallower end of their creative body of work as a whole.

    *sips wine, adjusts monocle*

    • Pa Tina

      You obviously are new here, so allow me to help out:
      1) Always say “It will rub out”
      2) Luggage racks always kill a deal
      3) Regale us with “My buddy had one” stories
      4) “Pimp” is our code for “I’m a redneck”
      5) Use the “if only it had a 4-speed, If only my wife would agree, If only it was 500 miles closer” excuses for a car you have no chance of ever buying.
      6) Watch how fast a post gets deleted

      • carsofchaos

        LOL PaTina….1000% correct. There are 2 others that are oft used:
        “You can’t put lipstick on a pig.”
        “Malaise-Era”

    • TriPowerVette

      +packrat – I used to be a big Heinlein fan, too. I started reading him in the ’50’s, when I was about 8 or 9. By the end of the 60’s, I realized (like you) that he was just a dirty old (misogynistic) man. Every female character in all of his books was cardboard. They were there for one reason. And there was always an old, wise overseer-type (injecting himself into the book), and she always called him ‘boss’.

      Your analogy is spot-on.

      • Metoo

        I think there are many fans of Heinlein who at some later point said “This guy has some seriously troubling issues.”

  27. TriPowerVette

    The offeror of this fine motorcar classic forgot one of the fundamental rules of car sales: you need a pretty girl in frame, to distract the viewer, and give a generally favorable impression.

    For this photo session, they should have gone to the parking lot of WalMart, and found the shortest, fattest woman wearing spandex with both bra straps showing, and her husband/boyfriend wearing an old, ripped ‘Sex Pistols’ t-shirt that only comes down to just above his fat, hairy navel. All sorts of poses rush to mind.

    There’s the money shot. That’s marketing.

    • Dan D

      A Ramones t-shirt would be more appropriate. No Walmarter could even appreciate the musical styling of the Pistols.

  28. Jay M

    I regularly flush more artistic creations.

  29. Blueprint

    Remove the zeros from the price, get it to run, build a Night Shift-themed LeMons entry around it.

  30. Robert Gallagher

    Real crispy, yes but the main issue is that it’s real ugly !
    These cars were considered to be in very bad taste when they were new and history has not been kind to them.
    If any of these make it into a museum it will be for the purpose of demonstrating the dark side of the automotive industry.
    It will be something to ridicule and laugh at.
    And to top it off this nut wants over nine grand for it !

  31. Nick

    Wonder Warthog lives.

    • Richard V

      Another ZAP fanatic! Allright!

      • TriPowerVette

        If you could document that R. Crumb was an owner (or designer) at any point, then…

  32. Dan D

    When I looked at the pic quickly, I thought it was the ForChevAmChrysWagen – anyone who grew up in the NYC metro area in the ’70’s remember that??

  33. Ray

    I think this is really an ad for the Porsches in the background. Might be cheaper way to advertise.

  34. David Miraglia

    just like the Excalibur when I was a kid and then a teenager back in the 1970’s.
    I just hated the garish ugliness of the Stuz design. I’ll take a Mark V or a Fleetwood Brougham any day over that thing.

  35. HeadMaster1

    I will actually admit to loving the 2-door Bearcat. Any time you can have a car with a mink-lined trunk and 24k gold plate on just about everything. Count me IN

  36. lbpa18

    Its a shame the rest didnt burn too. Its not too late!

    The Porsches caught my eye pretty quick. You’re looking at a million plus just in junk hulls.

    • waynard

      Only worth a million if someone buys them all. Those hulks have been sitting there for years.

  37. williamcleary

    Didn’t JoHan Make a scale model of this poor thing?

  38. Peter

    Leave this one for ‘PIMP MY RIDE’!

  39. Dt 1

    Is that US dollars or Russian rubles

  40. Dirks Bently

    Cut the car in quarter slices and hang it on a bar wall after you rattle can it ! It might bring one thousand a side if your lucky :-p

  41. hhaleblian

    I was recently offered one of these in a two door targa version by a client. Just for entertainment and curiosity I viewed the train wreck. The question that kept rolling through my casaba was why would someone build it and more so why would someone buy it? I may have taken it for free and thrown it on evilbay no reserve starting at uno nickelet. Beauty may be only skin deep, but these things are ugly to the bone.

  42. Bill B.

    I remember seeing these when they were new…they were disgusting THEN! LOL

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