This is a Chevrolet Blazer Estate Wagon. Or, maybe it’s a Chevy Caprice 4×4. Well, it’s somewhere in between, and there has likely never been another one made like it since the night a few buddies got together with some cheap whisky and cheaper welding equipment (and lots of bondo) to create this one-off. The seller seems to be the hard-nosed type, threatening to scrap his ride if you don’t meet his asking price, so bear that in mind if you decide to take a shot at owning this forgotten prototype that escaped the GM Heritage Center. The lifted wagon is listed here on Facebook Marketplace for $900 in North Dartmouth, Massachusetts.

When I was in high school, I was a bit of a Volkswagen fan. A popular trend at the time was creating a Jetta “Coupe” by filling in the line from the rear door where it met the quarter panel and deleting the exterior door handle. It always drove me nuts because the guys who did it were treated with the same admiration as a NASA scientist that found a new planet. It wasn’t until a guy actually shortened the body and created a true two-door Jetta that I felt the high praise was actually earned. In the case of this shortened Chevy wagon, the builder ended up somewhere in between a Pinto Cruising Wagon and a Cadillac Seville “Milan” coupe, one of those goofy shortened Caddys that never made any sense to anyone. If the rear door had actually been deleted, it might not look half bad.

OK. It would still look pretty bad. But it would at least make sense because aside from being an entry point for small animals, I’m clueless about who could actually make use of the back door. Moving on, it still has the traditional side-hinged rear cargo bay door, so you can load plenty of firewood, weapons, and animal feed for when the end times arrive and suddenly this off-road capable wagon may make a whole lot more sense. Honestly, I hope a movie producer assembling the cast for a new doomsday flick sees this listing and gives the Chevy a starring role for when our hero defeats the zombie brigade and bursts through a stockade fence with his family safely hidden inside.

The listing refers to the engine as a “small block 307” with a question mark, so you may find a better or worse engine when it gets dropped off in your driveway, which will happen two minutes before your first meeting with a divorce attorney. I am all for creating the ride of your dreams, especially when the factory won’t build the vehicle you desire. If anything, this is a proof of concept for the wildly popular Subaru Outback wagon, which will still blow more headgaskets than this thing ever will. For $900, there are far dumber ways to offend your friends and loved ones, and at least this is a mistake you can eventually live in.