Graveyard Smash: Mercury Marquis Hearse

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Clever seller we have here. With Halloween just around the corner, he’s put a classic Mercury Marquis Hearse conversion up for sale. I’ve seen everything from hearses like this to full-scale Ecto-1 recreations put in front of pumpkin patches to drum up business, so maybe this foreboding Merc here on craigslist will find its way to a haunted hayride in the days ahead. 

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Full disclosure: I wrote this post with both the classic “Monster Mash” and Ghostbusters theme song on in the background. I had to set the mood, and it made me wish I got more “into” Halloween events. My wife and I don’t even have a single mini pumpkin on the front stoop. Perhaps a full-scale decoration like this hearse would do the trick?

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I suspect the original cargo area would scare the kids in the neighborhood sufficiently, but maybe not. Frankly, they’ve probably already seen far more disturbing things on their iPads. I know at a young age, a blacked-out hearse with a lipstick red interior would definitely give me pause while walking past it. Of course, for only $5,500, it might be fun to buy and just cruise slowly around the ‘hood!

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The mileage is said to be a low 41,250, which reinforces that this Mercury may have indeed only been used by a local funeral home on short, in-town journeys. The paint still looks sharp, the chrome clean and even the vinyl roof appears to be holding up well. While Halloween will soon be over and the novelty of a hearse will wear off, at least you know this Mercury is up to any hauling tasks you may throw at it!

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Comments

  1. BingolovesCUBS

    I look at this and wonder what it would take to make it a standard wagon again. Is that wrong? The big Caddys should be hearses if you want a proper scare factor.

    • m power

      I was thinking the same thing, this would make a great wagon.

    • Skip

      It wouldn’t be all that hard, IF the original seats remain under the hearse floor. I had a 1977 Chrysler T&C wagon that had been converted into a first-call car with a smooth floor added. It had black vinyl that covered the rear windows with landau bars attached. I eventually sold the wagon, because my dad didn’t like me a driving a “hearse” (even though he never had problems with my driving ambulances around when I owned a small ambulance service many years ago) and offered to give me his ’87 Dodge Caravan. No brainer and I jumped at that. I told the eventual buyer of the Chrysler that I didn’t know what, if anything, was under the floor. No problem, once it was his he got into it and discovered that the original rear seats were still in place: so out came the “hearse” floor.

  2. Luke Fitzgerald

    Saw a 64 poncho hearse in Vegas – licence “1dayU2”

    • Mike

      Luke, I got you beat on that one, I saw one in Northern Missouri that read
      LST-TRP !!!! Kid you not, it was on the Hearse for the Garner Funeral Home in Monroe City, Missouri. That was in 1998 when my Grandmother Passed away!!

      • Larry K

        Whoops! Finger slipped to thumbs down.

  3. Paul

    It would make for a nice mini RV, and interesting too, as long as you did not wake up dead!!!

    • Hoos Member

      That would never happen. By definition, you cannot “wake up” dead. Lol.

      • stevee

        If you ain’t been dead, how would you know? Maybe you wake up ‘on the other side’………

  4. Pookie Jamie p

    Since I’m a cna, I’d make this my daily driver…. lol

  5. Jeffro

    I’d park it in front of retirement home. Put on a suit. Stand outside of door with a sign that says…”space available”.

    • Jeffro

      Ok. I was being insensitive. It would be better if I were dressed as the Grim Reaper. Come on…you know you laughed a little!

  6. ImpalaGuy

    Don’t let your first ride in a hearse be your last!

  7. motoring mo

    I’m dying to get behind the wheel.
    Steal of a lifetime.
    Does it have a dead petal?
    Would blare death metal from radio.
    Is there an ignition kill switch?

    • Scot Douglas

      Wow, tough crowd! :)

  8. Fred W.

    Keep those corny hearse jokes a comin!

  9. Mike

    I would buy it, find a fake casket and drive around and ask if anybody had seen a body laying around, that I missed placed one!!!!!!!
    Or rig it up so that the door would pop open while driving it around in town and have the casket slide out and drag on the ground then the casket would pop open and there would be a fake body in there. Have a buddy and you jump out and grab the casket and throw it back in and drive off just to see that faces of the people standing around.
    Make up a name plate for the car to say, Got you, Funeral home!!!!!
    Man am I getting Morbid in my old age!!!!
    I have often wondered who came up with the name Funeral, because why would you start it with FUN!!!!

  10. DAN

    need limo tinted, then it’s got the full creep going…….

  11. Vin in NJ

    This could be a fun ride to go tailgating in. Throw a slide out grill and a cooler in the back and have fun!

  12. Skip

    Texas built. A. G. Solar was in Dallas for a number of years. Tony Solar had been a longtime salesman for the Gordon K. Allen Co. (now Southwest Professional Vehicle) and then struck out on his own. However, it’s my understanding that the station wagon hearse conversions he marketed were actually built by Summers Coach in nearby Duncanville, TX. I had a ’77 Chrysler T&C station wagon conversion that was built by Summers, and a friend in Indiana had the same ’77 Chrysler wagon, only blue where my was white w/wood panel trim. His car had A.G. Solar dealer tags, but was totally identical to my Chrysler. It was nothing unusual for manufacturing to be farmed out like that.

    • Miguel

      It is too bad it is not an A&H conversion.

      I am actively looking for some.

  13. RichS

    I would guess this to be a “First Call” car that picked up the occupants from their point of expiration and transported them to the funeral home while the more glamourous Cadillacs got the duty of transport to the final resting place.

    http://www.cwcoach.com is a fun perusal of various funeral vehicles for sale

    • Miguel

      Actually if this was a first call car, it would have the flat floor, not the rollers.

  14. Bill McCoskey

    From the look of the interior casket table fixtures & the 4 fastener screws in the table corners, I’m pretty sure this was built by Thacker Coach in Maryland, just outside the Washington DC area. My friend Joe Thacker’s family owned a company that built caskets, and Joe had the local Cadillac S & S hearse franchise for the region. In the mid 1970’s Joe started building both the Mercury and Chrysler hearse conversions based on the standard station wagon. I used to go visit Joe & the shop, and I helped install a few of the tables when they needed extra people, as it took 4 people to load it into the wagon.

  15. Blindmarc

    Needs some “fade to black” playing…..,

    • Jeffro

      Highway To Hell?

  16. gearjam1

    I owned the non-hearse version of this car. Huge, luxurious ride…handled like driving a waterbed. I would LOVE to drive this! If for no-other reason, than to see the looks on the other parent’s faces, when I dropped my kids off at school in the morning.

  17. Skip

    That’s cool, gearjam. When I was a kid a couple of my friends’ parents owned a funeral home back when they still ran an ambulance service. They were brought to school every morning in one of the ambulances; and on occasion both boys wore their own “Thomas Ambulance” uniform jumpsuits to school. Everyone got a kick out of that.

    Now both parents are gone. The oldest boy owns the place, but they left the ambulance service in 1974 when the city established an EMS service. The young boy has been a successful physician in Galveston for many years.

  18. Skip

    Bill McCloskey: Thanks for the Thacker info. I’ve been racking my brain trying to remember the “Thacker’ name: another senior moment, you know. Thacker built some neat station wagon based hearses as did Summers and B&B Coaches here in TX.

  19. Roger

    I’ve never really been ” a hearse guy ” but I have to admit I like this one and if desired it pretty cool. Partially the red interior but mostly because I have never seen one made from a Merc like this. I’d drive it.

    BTW, the casket falling out the back has already been done. They had a scene in one of the Jackass movies – pretty funny scene.

    • Miguel

      They also did it in the first season of CHiP’s

  20. Skip

    Roger, I remember that movie; but that’s nowhere near as what happened for real back in 1963. An ambulance from the small town of Lamesa, TX (55 mi. north of Midland) was on an emergency transfer to the ER in Midland. About 24 mi. north of Midland on Hwy 349 is the intersection of Hwy 349 and Hwy 176. In those days, the traffic on 176 had a stop sign, giving the 349 traffic right of way. However, as the ambulance approached the intersection an elderly gentleman in a ’62 Chevy II ran the stop sign, striking the ambulance. The impact popped open the back door of the ambulance, sending gurney and patient on a wild ride. The patient was in a full-body cast, having been in an oilfield accident. All he could was hang on for dear life, hoping no one would round the curve and hit him. He managed to shift his weight enough that it sent the gurney into the bar ditch where it overturned, dumping the guy on the ground. Fortunately he was not injured either by the wreck or be dumped!

    The two ambulance guys had moderate-to-serious injuries and were both transported into Midland. The older gentleman who caused it all died at the scene.

    • Miguel

      Why wasn’t the gurney in the gurney lock all ambulances have?

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