Ever want a luxury car? Sure you have. Me too. Have you thought what you’d do with it? Drive it to dinner? Impress the valet at the symphony? That’s what the TV commercials and print ads would suggest you do. Me, I’m different. I want to take mine to the nearest swamp and drive it around in hip-deep water. Good thing I found this 1985 Lincoln Town Car, available here on craiglist. Sure, it’s got a broken odometer at 50,000 miles and the title got lost somewhere in the bayou, but if I can just get myself to Gay, GA, near Atlanta, I can get it. It’s only $6,000, but I’m hoping the seller will take less. Like enough to buy a pizza or something.
The problem is that it’s only in seller-reported “fair” condition. There’s very little information in the ad, but I can see some needs. The wheel hubs look rusty, as does the righthand side of the hood. But if I keep my focus mostly on the driver’s side, I can ignore that. After all, this mud buggy has been wet before, and my plan, as I‘ve outlined, is to get it wet again. And I might have to do that in other than fun conditions.
If the apocalypse comes, or California gets the 50-year storm I’ve read about, which will break all the dams and flood the lower half of the state, I’m good. I’ll be the only one on the freeway, lifted high above the fray on an F250 frame. A Dana 44 front and Dana 60 rear will help me transmit power via 4.88:1 gears. OK, that limits my top speed to just into double-digits, I’m guessing, and my gas mileage will be awful, but in survival mode, I’m not sure that’ll matter. The engine that will power me, a 460-CID monster, is fed by a Holly 750. In other words, whoever built this truck/car knew his or her way around an accessories catalogue. The image above shows what this Town Car might have looked like otherwise.
Seriously, is there an actual market for these? Are there comparables as to value? Most of what I see online when I search “mud trucks” are actual trucks, as in the above image. Is it so self-evident what this vehicle is that very few words have to be offered by way of explanation, and only two photos support the 6K asking price? Where’s the barn it came out of? It must be a true barn, with a high roof, or else how do you get it inside to hide it from your doomsday prepper neighbors? These and other mysteries will never be solved by me, but you Barnfinders might have some fun contemplating them. That’s what the chat is for, after all.
People….
Mathew M is saying
All wrong
All wrong
all wrong 😩
Oh what a glorious mess.
No offense but I guessed the location before I read where it’s from…
6k will buy you several things, but imagine the hold my beer moments when you’re ripping through Hazard County!
A friend had one stop similar, also a 1985 Town Car. It was on a 1970’s Chevy 4×4 Blazer chassis. Loads of fun and luxury on the logging roads in northern Wisconsin.
I meant set up similar to that. Typing error.
Ah luv it.
All it needs is semi-truck Yosemite Sam mud flaps that say “Back Off!”
Just…no.
Neck of Red.
Hilarious!
No interior shots is a deal breaker for me,
Sorry BF members and BF fans like myself I gotta comment…I don’t see any reason for sarcasm necessary as a longtime American luxury car enthusiast since my teen years. Normally I would throw in something stupid to present as a comment but I just cannot do it on this one. One of the most admired, most desired, most popular and Beautifully designed nameplates of my generation the Ford motor company had ever produced from 1980 (Continental Town car 80-82) to1989 DECIMATED and DEGENERATED and photographed as a DISGRACE by some fool who obviously saw this alteration as humorous and interesting. Whether the present owner created this MESS or he/she purchased this MONSTROSITY from someone else, it’s apparent the interest in this HORRIFIC piece of machinery has been passed on and on probably from owner one to another due it’s EYESORE capabilities. I once owned a 79 Town sedan and an 81 Town coupe and was thoroughly satisfied with both vehicles and never included any modifications at all other than tinted windows. Laugh all you want folks, I know this is BF don’t take it personally yeah I know however I AM OFFENED by the fact that this once wonderfully celebrated American Luxury automobile has been Violated and although I have not clicked on to look for more photos (I’m afraid) hopefully someone who deals with reality and shares my Love for this particular Lincoln brand will proudly fully Restore this “Transformers” wannabee back to normality and save it’s sole existence before eventually resting in the local junkyard. Arrrg!
I’m buying this masterpiece and getting the name Karen emblazoned across the trunk.. on the front/rear windows and a personalized license plate with “I’m a ..”. I’m shipping this to YOU for Christmas so those that don’t already know you won’t have to wonder who’s driving and your character. I really hope you wrote the post with sarcasm in mind..
Lincolns are being entered in Demo Derbies all the time now (actually they always were) , they are one of the few full frame cars still around to crash. So instead of tearing one of these apart and throwing all the bits away, crashing the car and scrapping it, this guy makes a 4×4 out of an old unwanted car that may have otherwise have been junked. .Ugly to you, and most of us, but at least the car is still around somewhat .
Yep, in the early 1980s my buddy and I bought a 70 Lincoln MK lll Continental from a local gas station for $50 , and put it in a demo derby and then just left it there when it finally died. At the time it was just another worn out old car that nobody wanted- I’m sure this one was likely the same.
I think it’s a good use of what’s available. It’s called “fun”. More people should try it.
Ruined Lincoln. Anyone else not know what to do with a luxury car?
They were junk when new, I see this as a vast improvement
I’ve seen so many of these Frankensteins for the last fifty years,the best looking one is still an elcamino.not jacked up too high.I have a 70 with a blower,wide tires,roll bar etc.I get so many looks and horns blowing,I get a kick out of it
this isn’t nearly as bad as the guy that did this with a caddy in New Jersey and then painted it pink for his GFso she could go mudding’ too
I can’t for the life of me explain why I like these creations, but I have yet to see one that makes me say why
I can’t explain why I like these creations so much, but I’ve never seen one yet that made me say why
I think this thing would just be fun if I had it I would hunt for a mint condition one and have this painted to match so people in town would do a head spin thinking I did this to the original mint one. But otherwise what a fun ride
There’s a pink Cadillac done like this in New Jersey, and a similar 1985 Town car in Wisconsin. Where did you guess this one was from, and why did you guess that?
I wonder if you and I are talking about the same Wisconsin Town Car. The one I speak of spent time in Townsend, WI and now in the Hiles, WI area.
I’ve never seen them, just saw it in a couple of previous posts. It’s an American thing to use up what you happen to have I guess. And BTW, there is no Hazard County in Georgia, and only the first six months of shows were filmed here.
I can’t tell you just how cool this is….I REALLY can’t.
Nothing says I’m a red neck like a Lincoln mud truck.
Nice to know where your stimulus money went.
Brian K, you say you always wanted a luxury car. That’s all I’ve driven since I became an adult. Not because I’m wealthy, but because I buy them used at substantially less cost than a new Chevy, Ford, Plymouth or small foreign marque. So could you. And I can attest that they are grand ways to travel.