More often than not, automobile contest winners are frequently trailer queens so immaculate that their owners often gasp at the mere thought of ever driving these beauties on the streets. Wouldn’t it be fun if an unconventional event existed where the worst-in-show prevailed, and awards were handed out for being the most awful? Alas, one such occurrence exists, and it’s known as The Lemons Rally. This 1984 Buick Electra Estate Wagon here on Craigslist recently took the top honors for badness, and it’s now looking for a new owner to keep celebrating its wretchedness. It’s located in Butte, Montana, and can be yours today for $2,900. Fun find here, Curvette, and thanks for sending us the tip!
The Lemons Rally is an event held in various towns across the U.S. where a group of beater vehicles gathers for a multi-day road trip, driving through different checkpoints along the way, and trying to keep their automobile running long enough to complete the course. It’s not entirely unlike a demolition derby, but there are no intentional crashes here. This Buick Wagon completed the 2,600-mile journey along the Oregon Trail (or the “Oregon Fail”, as this particular event was nicknamed), traveling ably from Independence, MO, to Portland, OR, without breaking down. Judging is based on a points-earned scale, and by the end of the road, it had achieved the highest score.
The heart of the matter here is the Buick’s 307 engine, which was kept running long enough to complete the course. However, that’s not entirely accurate, as this Estate actually came with a V8 designed and built by Oldsmobile, delivering 140 horsepower in 1984. Unfortunately, the GM Computer Command Control 4-barrel carburetor has a reputation for being problematic, and this one is no exception, stalling when the wagon stops. The seller recommends replacing it with a different unit, which sounds like the way to go here.
The exterior has some positives, as the sheet metal still appears to be relatively straight with no obvious signs of extensive corrosion. It’s also nicely trimmed outside, and parts of the lower half of the woody treatment remain intact. For such a loser, the graphics are actually somewhat attractive and thoughtfully placed, and I’d hate to think that somebody might remove them and restore the body back to its factory specs. My suggestion is to leave this one alone and let this wagon carry on representing its last-will-be-first victory!
The odometer has rolled over, and for a vehicle with 153k miles, the interior looks fairly decent for the most part, except for the headliner. Another huge plus is that this one has a third row, so even more passengers can enjoy being seen traveling around in this monumental failure. It also has a roof rack and a trailer hitch out back, so hauling lots of luggage and/or pulling broken-down farm equipment should be a breeze. I’m leaning toward replacing that Rochester with an aftermarket component and keeping this Buick alive as-is, then maybe entering it again in another Lemons Rally in the hopes of a second win. What are your thoughts here?
The ad itself is worth the price!
Solid looking car, one of a kind graphics and at a fair price.
It’s priced right , and will likely find a new owner. Buick wagons are rare today !
Are you well practiced in the ancient art of coming to a stop while left foot braking, slipping the shifter to neutral and feathering the gas with your right foot? If so, this is your car, no need to fix it, just drive it correctly like we used to do.
I had an easier time learning to drive stick than learning to do that.
It is an art. Strangely similar to what I have to do on my Mercedes m120 with 200k if it ever gets a vacuum leak (there’s always a vacum leak!) and develops oscillating idle
My father was a left foot braker. I don’t recall cars from my childhood needing that feather the throttle stop but he learned to drive well before I came around.
He had automatics as my mom didn’t drive a stick and we were a one car family so I don’t know if he clutched and braked with his left foot.
He taught me how to drive with my right foot and left for the clutch.
It was at one point a thing back in the ’50s to teach beginning drivers to use the left foot for the brake and the right foot for the gas in an automatic car. I guess the idea was to separate “go” and “stop” to reduce the potential for accidents due to pedal confusion. (Commonly a thing with older folks nowadays–they think they’re mashing the brake when in fact they have their foot on the gas.)
At one time in my life. (Single then) I had a ’67 Camaro 327 convertible with a power glide. And a ’76 VW Scirocce. This was 1977. I drove the Scirocco like I was in a race all the time and got 2 speeding tickets in one week when I wasn’t even trying to go fast. So I decided to drive the Camaro for awhile and just cool my jets. So I used my Scirocco for business trips. I had 9 mid-western states to cover by car. And the Scirocco got way better fuel economy than the 327 in the Camaro. So after driving the Camaro that I had been driving “2 footed”, I switched to the 4 speed VW. I rocketed off a off ramp with a 90° right towards the end. I reached over to brake with my left foot and the pedal went right to the floor and the car didn’t slow down one bit. My heart sank and my stomach jumped into my throat because there was no run off area. The straight route (after climbing the curb) was a huge 50′ drop off! At the last second I realized that I had stepped on the clutch! I had just enough time to find the brake pedal. I actually don’t remember which foot I used. Bust most likely it was the left foot as I regularly did the left foot braking trick getting around a corner while right foot still pressing on the gas in order to bring the tail around in a high speed at the limit corner. ( left foot braking on a front wheel drive is an old trick to compensate for front wheel drive understeer )
But I still remember that sinking feeling when the clutch didn’t operate the brakes!
If you’re not a left foot braker, you’ve never worked in the used car business.
As someone who’s part of That Generation, the “You have died of dysentery” graphic made me chuckle.
Must’ve eaten the salad bar at the Sizzler in The Dalles when the Rajneeshees had gotten to it.
These babies were ubiquitous in the mid-’80s at country clubs, Kroger stores, and BIG 10 tailgate parties. You couldn’t get much better than a big Big 3 station wagon to carry around the American Dream.
And they looked so much better than today’s SUVs.
Left foot braking has faster reaction time and with practice it’s beneficial in stop and go driving etc
Except that many left foot brakers are also brake daggers. (Driving with foot resting and riding the brake.) In the repair business it always very apparent when an owner is one of these people.
Seems to be a pretty good price.
a good carb rebuilder can take of whatever ails this carb if you can get past the graphics.
Except that many left foot brakers are also brake daggers. (Driving with foot resting and riding the brake.) In the repair business it always very apparent when an owner is one of these people.
You can often tell these guys when you ride behind them. The brake lights are often lit continuously or they’re flickering on and off as the vehicle travels over bumps, making it impossible to tell when they’re braking for real.
We live in the most mountainous state in the lower 48. (Nevada) And I can’t believe the people that ride the brake going down hill. “GEAR DOWN IDIOTS!’. In the store yesterday I actually heard a guy complaining the fact that he had to ride the brakes all the time going down all our hills. I had to bite my tongue or I would have made a very loud scene. I could understand a new driver/teenager who has minimal experience. But the guy was about 50 years old. And then you have the people that ride the brake going up hill! I guess you need to be ready to slow down for the next corner!
I learned the brake, shift to neutral, and feather the gas, when I got my learns permit in 1969. The car was a 1966 Plymouth Belvedere 6 passenger station wagon. It had all kinds of gremlins, very interesting to drive. We had the same problem with a 1977 Impala.
The Lemons group put on fun events. Ran a 24 Hrs event in Fernley/Reno once and had a good time. Even with blowing up the transmission, losing a wheel, tearing out the front shocks, replacing the transmission and still finishing in the middle of the pack.
I almost think I should submit one of my cars into this event. It sounds fun.
I read once that they say “racing isn’t just for rich idiots, it’s for all idiots.” That’s fairly encouraging.
I just checked the rules for the rally. Now you have to remember that these guys are all about cheap fun.
Any car is allowed to run and the entry fee is only for the car. So as many people you can safely pack in the vehicle it’s OK. And anyone listed on the entry form (that has a driver’s license can drive) Now comes the kicker. If you show up in an old dilapidated vehicle that looks like it’s on its last mile. Your team automatically get a bunch of points. (Think 24 hours of LeManns with the “equalization formula that they used to have where Bugeye (MK I) Sprites would win.) So anyway if you show up in a beautiful Lamborghini you will be assessed negative points that you will need to try and overcome. They keep trying to keep it fun. And in the 24 hour race I was made to sit out for 15 minutes while they poured several quarts of rancid beer all over the floor of our racecar as pentance for getting all four wheels off the track. (Even though I was shoved off) Also in the races at the halfway point if there is someone who is being a jerk on the track or has plainly not adhered to the $500 car value. They are voted out of the race and given 20 minutes to pull anything out that they want to keep. And the car is crushed right there on site!
So my point is taking anything seriously in their competition is frowned on. IT’S ALL ABOUT FUN!