Cave Find!: 2,600,453 BC Stone Roller Deluxe

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I haven’t seen one of these in, well, in a few millennia. This is a 2,600,453 BC Stone Roller Deluxe and it’s offered on Crag’s List in the United Kingdom and will be delivered to Stone Mountain, Georgia for pickup. The asking price is a mere $7144.46 rocks. Do not dilly-dally on this one, these don’t come up every day. In regard to shipping costs, if you have to ask you can’t afford it.

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This Deluxe Roller is easy to tell from the standard model by the high-back granite, individually-adjustable backrocks, as opposed to the regular Stone Roller with a bench slab, as seen here in this fully restoned version. The Stone Roller was just one model of a full line offered by Bedrock Motors and it had a good run, lasting from 3,350,470 BC to 1,230,227 BC when the more civilized and streamlined Aero-Stone version came out.

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The “new” model was quite a revelation with twin “aero-carved” side bolsters in response to recent government regulations (yes, even back then!) that were enacted when distracted Woolly Mammoths wouldn’t yield properly and side-impact-logs were made even sturdier than in previous models. The Aero-Stone model was much easier to propel because of its more wind-cutting shape and it almost put the podiatry industry out of business. But, I prefer this earlier model; modern vehicles don’t interest me too much and once you get into the 1,000,000s BC, things started getting a little posh for me. This is one cool, cretaceous cruiser!

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BM also made a hardwood-top sedan version which was popular with young families at the time. Or actually, I guess they were all young because they only lived for two or three decades back then. The one for sale here is said to run good, literally. The BF Goodrock tires have a lot of life left in them; more than any of us do. And, although the “AC needs charged”, you should be able to catch a nice breeze even without it. You can see that these older, pre-regulation models didn’t have the bumperstones that some of the later versions did, making for a sleeker look, front and rear.

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This is an older model without all of the luxuries that we take for granite today, like GPS (gabbro positioning service), backup camrock, pyrite windows and locks, etc. You could always work overtime as a bronto-crane operator to save up enough for this basalt beauty. And, even though you can see that the dreaded tree-worm has eaten away parts of the side bolsters, I think that with a couple of weekends of work you could have it looking like you just stepped back to the 2,600,000s BC again! Don’t miss this one; Yabba-Dabba-Do!

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Comments

  1. bowtiecarguy

    wilma!!!!!!!

  2. Jim L

    Shades of the old Flintrorck .With Barneys foot pedal power, I”ll bet he could out drag the fastest Dinosaur.
    Vroom…vroom as long as Fred wasn’t the navigator.

  3. Bill Banger

    I think today’s date will be the giveaway on this one. April 1st. cheers.

  4. JWH

    Anyone interested should take a close look. Not sure I believe the “runs good” claim. With all that moss on the back wheel, I’m thinking it hasn’t been rolling in a loooong time. Additionally, unless you can find a good stone carver, replacement parts will be hard to source.

  5. another Bob

    It doesn’t appear to have any rust issues.

  6. Rando

    Those other pics look like FIBERGLASS replicas. This here is the REAL DEAL, Wasn’t there a gasser named STONE, WOOD, & CROCK?

  7. Chebby

    The BF Goodrock tires line cracked me up.

    Autocorrect changed it to ‘fracked’ me up. That’s even better.

  8. CHRIS WEICHLER

    You found my car that was stolen from me in 1,000,000,000,000 BC!!!

  9. Chris in Nashville

    Wow… Am I th only one who is tired of this April Fools crap… One is funny… Maybe two… But now we are in the sad begging for attention phase…

    • Van

      “Boo hiss”

    • Murray

      Wow would you be fun to sit next to at dinner!

  10. dav

    I did shared that with Jesse

  11. Ed P

    Without firm documentation confirming that this vehicle belonged to Fred or Barney, I don’t see much value here. Plus r – 100000 refrigerant has not been made in centuries.

  12. Doyler

    Brakes look good

  13. brian crowe

    Scam alert! That was for sale about 2 weeks ago on my local kijiji. They just stole the pics and trying to scam. lol

  14. Dan

    Yabba dabba doo..!!

  15. JACKinNWPA Jack NWPA Member

    I don’t think I’d leave it stock, customize it with some big and little Firestones with classic keystones. lower it down to the gravel.Ax four inches from the roof.Some hairy dice from Rockauto. those Bam Bam rock-roll speakers.Some vintage Woodlites and to keep it safe a club for the steering slab.

  16. Danger Dan

    Air conditioning just needs a charge…
    These are great!
    Your cool factor went thru the roof with me.
    DD

  17. Joe Nose

    Begs for SBC.

    Stone ballast (crushed).

  18. David Frank David Member

    You’d have to be really stoned to drive this! It would be great though, listening to rock! It’s a ride you just can’t take for granite!

    (And my wife wasn’t amused when I told her about the Porsche project I just bought! She says I’ll be sleeping on either the front or side porsche for awhile! Happy April Fools Day everyone!

  19. Bazini

    These are the best comments I’ve read all year. BF readers really have shared their best work today.

    • DarylK

      Agreed.

  20. MG's

    My Nana said she had her first date in a convertabul just like this

  21. hhaleblian

    “Dudes on ludes should not drive” Jeff Spicoli

  22. Don

    After all these millenia, I hope the title is rock solid…

  23. Paul R.

    Excellent car for the wife!

  24. Howard A Member

    Can you believe this? On a prime time family show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYvOgnabABU

  25. Jay

    My mother in law had one…but recently traded it in for a broom.

  26. Marco

    Brakes could be an issue!

  27. DougM

    A Cave find!

  28. Jack

    Two feet power, today’s toes wouldn’t last long

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