Chia Pet Bug: VW Beetle + Porsche 930 Kit

My in-laws moved to new abodes around Christmas last year, so some of the holiday gifting included re-gifted items that didn’t sell at the yard sale. One such item was a brand-new (some might say, new old stock) Chia pet in the classic bull shape, and the similarities to this kitted up Beetle here on craigslist are uncanny. I wonder, though, if you could just add water and watch it grow? 

The only two photos you’re getting are the one above and image showing a pile of hoods, engine covers and fenders. It all makes sense when you realize the seller is offering this Beetle with the kit for $1,800, or without it (and presumably the stock parts included) for $1,500. I can appreciate body kits in some form, but when I see examples like this poor attempt to make a Beetle into a thundering Porsche 930, I have to ask if the original kit creators ever looked the car they intended to fit it on.

Image courtesy of the TheSamba.com

Since those were the only two photos provided, I went to hunt down some finished examples. To my surprise, I didn’t have to look too hard. This black Beetle / 930 appears to wear the same kit as our feature car, and I can’t say it looks any better complete. Maybe it’s the wheels, which clearly have sufficient width in the rear to better fill out those outrageously wide hindquarters, but otherwise look like they were purchased at K-Mart. The bigger issue is the upright greenhouse of the Beetle is at constant odds with the windswept look of the 930 kit.

Image courtesy of PelicanParts.com

Here’s another example, which, despite being even more extreme with the classic Ferrari side strakes installed, actually looks the most complete of the three shown here. Notice the “Otteinger” name on the front valence, which is a major German tuning house that might actually have the budget to kind-of-sort-of stretch this Porsche-lookalike kit over the Beetle’s bulbous proportions. Well, I’ve shown you what’s possible if you treat this Beetle like the Chia pet in my basement – you just have to believe it will someday grow into a mini-Porsche. Any takers?

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Comments

  1. 68 custom

    No way ever, that poor bug deserves better!

  2. Jeff DeWitt

    I’ve seen some cool custom Beetles, then there is this thing… the silly Rolls Royce looking hood and grill make more sense to me.

    • Marc D

      I remember the ads for the different body kits for the beetle back in the 70’s, I thought the “rolls” look was silly, but the “40’s Ford grill” looked the best, I know a beetle owner with the ford nose and it still looks good after all these years, saw a could of Rolls kitted cars run through pick n pull and they did not age well.

      • moosie Craig

        I got into an argument with an idiot that worked at a local pizzeria when I pulled up in my ’40 Ford and he told me it was a Beetle. I was nice at first but he insisted it was a beetle.

  3. Jeffro

    I’m sure that body kit adds atleast 200 hp.

    • Blueprint

      Make that 200 lbs

  4. Leaf36

    Nope!
    I’m sure your Chia Pet faired better
    than this monstrosity.

    • whippeteer

      It was probably faster though.

      Like 1
  5. Fred W.

    Buy it with the kit, bolt the old body parts back on and sell the fiberglas parts to a nearsighted person.

  6. Jay M

    Or you could stuff some ridiculously wide tires under there, and an LS motor and…
    Just kidding.

    • Jeff DeWitt

      A Mazda rotary…

  7. Veloce33

    That…is…horrible.

    Like 1
    • St. Ramone de V8

      Well said.

  8. Ron Bajorek

    I’m in for $1500

  9. DRV

    That’s just awesome, I don’t care who you are!

  10. Mr. Bond

    Thank gawd the rest of the parts are available. That kit would look better bolted to my 1/2 ton. I was flabbergasted that anyone would manufacture that for a bug. But more power to him, he sold one or two.

  11. sir mike

    There is just not enough bad you can say about this abortion.

  12. bill

    That is the most hideous looking thing I have ever seen

    Like 1
  13. Moose Feather

    Ummmm, No!

  14. grant

    I try and keep an open mind, but this is just stupid.

    Like 1
  15. Joe Haska

    I really try to think things thru, and see the other side, be optimistic, see if I can see the good in things, and why I may not be on board with new ideas, is it because I am just not thinking outside the box, and I really need to be more aggressive and give the other side a chance, and their day in the sun. So in that vein and being as humble and understanding as I can be——-WTF are you thinking are you a total idiot, you just can’t fix stupid!

  16. KevinW

    This kinda reminds me of a toy VW bug I had as a kid. You’d wind it up, and it would stretch out to turn into a dragster and then take off. The toy actually looked cool, this car proves that taste is subjective.

  17. George

    I sure would not want to attack such a project but I think it would be fun to have either of the 2 finished cars pictured. It would be a scream to drive it to a class reunion. I’m sure the cheerleader who would not even look at me in high school would cry now realizing what a mistake is was to have dumped a guy who has such a wild car.–Or perhaps to a job interview. If single, it would be great to drive it on a first date. I prefer the black one ’cause it doesn’t stand out’ like the white one does. I am sure the cops would pull you over just to take a look.

  18. PhxBarbie

    Wow. My first car was a Bug. Later I was lucky enough to have a real 930 turbo, and it will forever be the greatest love of my life. To see this hideous POS makes me feel physically sick. What a total injustice to both the poor little bug who never aspired to be anything more, and the hard charging 930.

    I think I need a strong drink to try and erase that horrible picture from my mind. Thanks BF, you almost made me go blind.😳😵😁😂

    • Mike Burnett

      That might be because of the antifreeze you’ve been drinking! Or perhaps drink was what caused the designer to come up with this kit.

  19. Dr. D

    If I win the Powerball lottery I promise you that I will do my best to:

    1. Buy this atrocity; and
    2. Hire Mark Hamill to star in a long-awaited sequel film entitled “Volkswagen Summer.”

    In the original “Corvette Summer” Mark Hamill is a high school student who builds a RHD Corvette with a custom bodykit, which is subsequently stolen. He then travels to Las Vegas to try to find it and get it back with the help of a self-described “prostitute-in-training,” played by Annie Potts.

    In “Volkswagen Summer” Hamill is a middle-aged man, living in Vegas, who has fallen on hard times and has gambling debts. He has fraudulently registered this Beetle as a real Porsche 930, and sets about trying to bait thieves into stealing it so that he can claim the insurance money and pay off the casino. Of course with the help of a self-described “retired prostitute,” played by Annie Potts.

    • Jesse Mortensen Jesse Staff

      Hilarious Dr. D!

    • DW

      I would definitely shell out 15 bucks to see that! ($20.00 if you substitute Jennifer Lawrence for Annie)

    • David Lundquist Member

      I love it!! Have your people call my people! I LOVE the way you think!!!
      It screams summer season hit. Definitely for the drive-ins. (Wait. Are there any drive-ins left?)

  20. CowboyChris

    Must be POS week here at Barn finds, junkyard finds

  21. PhxBarbie

    I love this site, and normally nothing bothers me. I rarely ever comment, but this one just kind of made me feel sick. Also, I never was a fan of the slant nose. I will retreat back into my cave now and let you guys have all the fun.😎

  22. Adam T45 Staff

    That which has been seen can never be unseen!

  23. Tracy

    I just threw up in my mouth.

    • Alex B

      I woke up a bit sick this morning an emptied my stomach, but now after eyeballing this hideous monster I want to get back to bed. And I can’t because I have to go to an appointment in an hour. :(

      • PhxBarbie

        Alex you guys are too funny. My stomach has settled back down, but now I’m afraid to turn off the iPad and go to sleep, because I might dream about this slant nose thing coming after me. Arghhhh… 😳

        Just kidding Jesse. We all need something to laugh about, things have been rather tense for all of us lately. Thanks for helping me shake off the blues!

  24. alan

    thanks. I was just about to eat my dinner

  25. Howard A Member

    Paper bag with 2 eye holes included. Looks like something you’d see at “The Zoo”,( Brainerd, Mn) or “Burning Man”. Clearly, the 2 vehicles don’t match very well, and you’d probably be escorted out of a function for either one. I always think of what we call colossal flops, someone thought this was a good idea. You know, the “pile of parts” doesn’t look too bad. Btw, it’s a hassle getting rid of large pieces of fiberglass like this these days. Recycling doesn’t want it, or landfills. The Beetle restored would be much more valuable. Nice try, though.

  26. Jeffro

    Willie Mays Hayes! I like his better.

    • Jeff DeWitt

      Any idea what that is in the background? A Gazelle?

      • Leaf36

        Excalibur?

      • Ed W

        That’s Roger Dorn. Lol

    • Glen Riddle

      Ah, the famous Liberace Bug.

  27. Squanto

    Does the car actually have enough power to move all of that plastic? I’m estimating a top speed of 38 mph, downhill, with a tailwind.

    • Adam T45 Staff

      It has a potential terminal velocity of 200 mph. However, that’s if you drive it off a cliff, which is pretty terminal!

  28. jbh110tdi

    I cant say ive ever had the urge to take my eyes out with a spoon but after looking at this im tempted…

  29. Dtkennedy930

    Jesse,
    It’s even better. Hope I’m not vexatious but it’s actually “trying” to imitate a mighty 935, not merely the pedestrian varietal 930. You might argue a slope nose 930 was the goal but the rear boxed fender flare panels are faux 935, not 930 nor 934. 934’s also had the standard/classic 911/930 fenders with prominent headlights mounted in them.

    So . . . would it look more menacing in white with blue & white Martini or Brumos stripes rather than black. Nah, would still look ridiculous, Danny Ongias had a pretty sinister looking black “00” 935.

  30. KevinW

    Looks amphibious, might float pretty good. And if it doesn’t, leaving it at the bottom of the lake would save everyone from having to look at this monstrosity again. Actually putting the original front and back body parts should be done.

  31. Glen Riddle

    Steve Lee, your next car is ready for pickup….see video(specifically the last minute or so):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TC2xTCb_GU

  32. Doug Towsley

    Is it bad to say I would buy it just to get the body work if it would actually fit a Porsche? The bug I would slap back together and sell to some hipster.
    (They are quite popular, always have been, my hippy step brother was always into bugs starting in the 60s. But they seem to be even more popular now but no longer cheap) I have always loved some of the Porsche race variants and while never owned any,,, My nostalgia stems from going to races in the 1970s and during the heyday of sports car racing in the transam series and SCCA racing.
    I would think a crappy shell of a porsche would make a nice donor if this body work would fit. Probably not a great idea but would make some awesome yard art. The Martini& Rossi cars are just iconic art on wheels. I love them. Pix enclosed.

  33. gto4ever

    Poor bugster, if I feel sick, imagine what it feels like. It woke up one morning starting out as a bug and ended up looking like a mistake from Nip tuck.! There should be rules when purchasing something that you can not intentionally abuse it.

  34. David Lundquist Member

    I think you guys are being a little harsh with this ‘car’. Really when you look at it it’s obvious that design-wise that the overwhelming problem is the roof-line. Now if you were to chop it and give it a more realistic 930 look that would be a good start. Then you’re going to have to swap out the engine for a 930 or 935. You’ll need to redo the interior of course including roll-bars, bucket seats. Wheels and probably the wheelwells will have to be modified, super-wide in back, narrower in front. I would imagine that the suspension will have to be changed up to accommodate the increase in horsepower and need for improved handling in the curves. Probably need a new platform/frame to handle the increased power. Probably best to get a 930 if possible. A high speed wing on teh back of course and a cool paint job, racing stripe, numbers, , sponsor stickers. I think you might have something with just these few steps. Thoughts? Have I overlooked anything?

    • Olaf E

      David, I gave you thumbs up for your efforts but please stop. The only good thing is to bring this Beetle back to stock, this kit is completely out of proportions. The moment I found this ad on Craigslist U felt sorry for this Beetle.

    • Ralph Stork

      Hi David L. I know the company that designed and built that kit, the 930-VEE was sold all over the world and has a cult following. Yes, it is not for everyone, but when done correctly was a great handling fun car! They won awards at every show and for design in the kit car industry. They do all kinds of VW parts and build some really cool stuff. http://www.glass-action.com

  35. Dan h

    Uh-yeah-no.

  36. Car Guy

    Words can’t describe………..

  37. John

    Maybe you should offer the Chia-pet with a “free” VW Fronk-n-steen as an incentive.

    No. Just no. They should put its hood and fenders back and quit embarrassing the poor Volksie.

  38. Keith

    I believe this was the JC Whitney kit offered in the 80’s only for the 111 chassis regular beetle, the 113 super beetle with it’s different front end etc, wouldn’t work with this kit. I have seen 1 on a beetle in the flesh, and after talking to the owner who did the conversion, they were glad to do it but never again according to them.

  39. Mike C

    When is Volkswagan Summer coming out or will it be on Blue Ray anytime soon? I would like to ad it to my collection of 2 Lane Blacktop, Vanishing Point, Bullit, and so many more great movies.

    Anyone in on getting together and partnering up on this great buy. We might get it finished by the next Barrett Jackson and make the big BUCK$. I think we should list as a Modified Porsche 930

  40. Pete

    Holy Mother of God. I am sure the engineers at VW cried like little girls when this was made known to them. Classic example of putting lipstick on a pig, it is still a pig when all is said and done. No offense to the poor innocent bug that got raped for this project. Step one would be to remove kit. Step two Burn in place. Step three reinstall original skins. All will be right with the world when all that is done.

  41. Martin Sparkes

    I’m a bit surprised at the hate, especially on a car nut site like this. Having built a fair number of cars and trucks, it takes a LOT of WORK. All you see in the photos above are some raw body panels. Someone needs to strip the car, chop it, rake the windshield, add a suspension, blend those panels in, and do the thousand hours of work required to have a decent looking customized car. If you are into cars, whether customized or not, you need to look beyond a stack of parts. A talented and/or dedicated person could do wonders. The white car shows the potential, but I wonder why they didn’t go the extra distance and redo the roof and windshield profile.

  42. jrc

    LeMons entry a.s.a.p

  43. SteveN

    Hmmmm, think that kit will fit on an Audi TT?

  44. Ralph Stork

    Hi David L. I know the company that designed and built that kit, the 930-VEE was sold all over the world and has a cult following. Yes, it is not for everyone, but when done correctly was a great handling fun car! They won awards at every show and for design in the kit car industry. They do all kinds of VW parts and build some really cool stuff. http://www.glass-action.com

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