“Jamie, back away from the saw,” (welder, fiberglass, torch, wrench, whatever I happened to be holding)! Some version of that is what my automotive mentor, my Dad, used to say when he saw me about to make a mistake. It seems the modifyer/s of these two Chevrolet Corvettes didn’t have someone like my Dad looking over their shoulder! The seller of these cars is trying to thin their herd and is offering the pair for $8,500 here on Facebook Marketplace. The cars are located in Haverhill, Massachusetts. Thanks to reader Jack M. for scarring my eyes forever with this find! You certainly won’t find a duplicate of either of these unusual builds anywhere else!
The seller describes the black car as a 1985 Corvette Custom Rat Rod and also uses the words “outrageous” and “imaginative.” I can’t argue with either. On the other hand, the older C3-based car is a 1976 model. Its body is described as “striking” and “unconventional”. Again, I can’t argue with either term. When they also call the ’76 “Ferrari-inspired”, though, I draw the line. Enzo and his designers would be rising from the dead if they heard that. The 76 has a very 1980s vibe to the design, and the color-keyed aluminum wheels and Dunlop G/T Qualifier tires also remind me of my high school days (I graduated in 1982). I’m honestly not sure what the mounter of the “side” view mirrors was thinking, and the positioning is even worse when you see that monstrous *wing* that is probably right in the field of view from the mirrors. Wow.
The ’85 wears a Mercedes grille, horns (?) on the tops of the front fenders, dune buggy headlights, enough diamond plate to build a mezzanine in my garage, and a gothic sculpture of some sort as a hood ornament surrounded by a horseshoe. On the other hand, I’d love to know what the very front of the yellow car is; some sort of attachment point for towing, perhaps? There are 30 vents in the hood and front fenders; I’m guessing engine compartment heat isn’t that much of an issue, although who knows where the air would come in from? Even the mirrors have fins of their own!
Speaking of fins-well, I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves here. I’m guessing rear vision for the yellow car wasn’t a concern, and I’m trying to figure out if the pipe on top of the spoilers on the black car is a fake gun or an exhaust pipe. Your thoughts, readers? Also, are those Eldorado taillights on the yellow car?
Neither interior is anything to write home about, but at least the black car has seats and a dashboard. Neither car is guaranteed to run, although the 1985 is believed to run. Both cars have small-block Chevrolet V-8s and automatic transmissions. I’m struck by the seller’s request for serious inquiries only; even if I were interested in purchasing the pair, I don’t think I could be completely serious when contacting the seller-could you? I do have a serious question for you readers: if these were both in running condition and you HAD to drive one home, which would you choose? I thought long and hard and decided on the 1976 yellow car. I want to see lots of answers (and no fair saying neither!), and I’ll tally up the responses and add them to the post. The choice is yours!
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And at this point, 10/23/26, the yellow car is leading, 6 votes to 3, with most of you abstaining!
Line ém all up I’d take the Hudson.
That’s not playing by the rules, Bob. ;-)
No rules on these guys.
Eek!!
If I had to drive one home. I’d walk.
They are both messes, hard to see $8,500 out of the pair.
Steve R
Saw this last week, thought about sending it in, but was too busy eye bleaching
These make the Tesla Vette look ok.
No, these are still better than that abomination.
Other than “WHY????” I’m speechless.
Okay, so the black one kinda reminds me of the old John Madden Thanksgiving day football broadcast where he pretty much coined the phrase “turduckin” for the turkey/duck/chicken things they had on set.
Actually it applies to both cars. Turduckins.
The yellow one looks like it was maybe going to be sort of a speed racer Mach V. IDK. Maybe it’s a mismosh of multiple speed racer cars. I do seem to recall there was a yellow one always racing Speed.
So I’d probably want to drive the yellow one around if I had to pick one.
Turduckins is a little too long. You needed to stop at just turds.
Turduckin tastes good. Unfortunately, whoever created THESE abominations has absolutely NO TASTE AT ALL!!!!! Best thing to do with these 2 turds, is FLUSH THEM!!!!! STRAIGHT to the sCrapper!!!
Two of the ugliest cars I have ever seen butchered. This is one that definitely flew over the cookoo’s nest 😢
I’m speechless
These are hideous, nearly (but not quite) as abominable as the EV Corvette! At least these still probably run on honest gasoline.
Love them or hate them, the choice is yours.
I really miss a world where I hadn’t seen this.
😆
Both with a can of gas and a book of matches.
Didn’t know they were remaking, “Death Race 2000”!
That yellow monstrosity is just begging for my sawsall. I’d turn it into a trailer and keep the engine/tranny. Everything else can go.
I would be hoping that the chassis and drive train had not been effected by the perpetrators who did this. A trailer with an independent transverse rear leaf spring?? That would be different!
Somebody spiked Ely Callaway’s Frappuccino.
LOL another case of more mony than sense.
I just threw up in my mouth!
If forced at gunpoint…the Yellow 76. Store it underground like spent reactor fuel. And if anyone gets on my wrong side I suppose I could take it out of hiding and park it in front of THEIR house.
I think the Corvette is the most molested production car existing ! These are parts cars at best, junk.
It’s like giving your poodle one of those really bad haircuts.
That’s Embarrassing
I needed a good laugh this morning Thanks!
The result of combining meth and LSD.
WOW!!
The winner and runner-up in the Ugly Corvette Contest.
Styling by Hannah/Barbara…..
Hmmm 🤔 I choose “Neither”
These are parts cars. But you have to dig out any parts. $850 maybe.
Ok, If I have to choose which one to drive. Do they both come with a brown paper bag with 2 eye holes to see out of? That way no one will know it’s me driving? I think the black/dk gray one would be my choice. As it has the winch on the back the drag the yellow one behind it. (That’s what the thing on the front of the yellow monstrosity is for. To hook the winch on the black car to.)
I’d give $800 for the pair. Just for fun to see what it would take to return one or both (although I think after one you would be locked up in a rubber room somewhere) into a usable vehicle. You couldn’t screw them up any worse than they are now. HOPEFULLY, the chassis and drive trains are still intact. So a complete “body off” transfer to the dumpster and some kind of kit car fiberglass “nice looking” body to grace the chassis. IF, in fact I bought these two abominations, one would be an everyday car (with a different body) when completed and the other a track day car when completed (C 1 kit body?) Plus there are usable pieces that you old sell. Like the winch, and the wheelie bar and the, and the, and the— just forget the previous statement!(lol)
It would take alot of time and judicious searching and scavenging, but in the end (if you don’t count your own labor cost) you could come out even! I personally would attempt this fiasco if not currently not buried in projects AND not for the money the seller is asking. I can’t seem to stay away from challenging projects.
Someone had a vision.
They must’ve been blind then!!!
only here for the comments
not disappointed :)
oh my, you will never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious
I’m going to have nightmares after seeing that.
Both hideous
– if I had to choose I would pic the black one and drive home during the night.
Yes, probably through s##t colored glasses!
They belong in a “Miffed Max” movie.
You guys have covered it, I have no words!
I’m sorry but neither is the only answer I can live with.
What an ugly bag of filth.
Def the yellow one.I can already see the Death Race (original with Carradine) sequel forming in my head.Frankenstien’s new ride has arrived!!!
I’d take the Nash.
Ohhh leee sheeet , nothing good to say about this pair
This is like someone watch Corvette Summer and said “why did they choose such a subtle body kit? This is like a 3. I would’ve takin it to an 11.”
I hate the yellow one less since its cohesive. Atrocious, but cohesive. That said, I’d drive the black home since I think it could be turned into something redeemable easier.
Oh my god!
DEATH RACE 2000 🤣 omg would that Yellow Shark shake things up here in Germany – cuz its legal to drive em with U.S. plates for maximum 6 months as long as they have the Side Euro reg Marker lights added.
The German TUV would have a FIT practically collapse seeing it on the road & the Polizei wouldn’t have a CLUE what to do – 1 thing is for sure any place it stopped Crowds would gather…..only thing missing is Sylvester Stallones TWIN MACHINE GUNS sticking up out of the Hood.
Looks like someone missed a few psychiatrist appointments.
Okay, I’ll play but the rules. I’d take the black one.
All I can say is EEEEEEW!! GLWTS!
Wow those are two beautiful mods. I’d take either, but the black one has seats, so… And the taste of the creator certainly differed. The black one is my fav for sure.